Entertainment Weekly just ranked me #2 in their "Best Oscar Hosts of the Past 20 Years" poll. First of all, I'm honored. Secondly, I know what being runner-up means. If at any time Billy Crystal can't perform his official duties, I would need to take over.
Getting to host the Oscars was a dream come true. When I found out I was picked, I was a little nervous, so I looked for hosting advice from anywhere I could get it. I even read Emily Post's book on how to be a good host. That's why the year I hosted, everyone in the audience sat boy, girl, boy, girl.
There are a lot of host responsibilities you may not know about. At big events like the Oscars, sometimes celebrities have what we call "wardrobe malfunctions." Not on my watch. I'll stop at nothing to keep things decent when I'm hosting, which includes bringing extra safety pins and making sure Jennifer Lopez doesn't have to run anywhere. It's also how my hands wound up on Janet Jackson's Rolling Stone cover.
One thing winners get upset about at the Oscars is when they forget to thank someone very special to them. So before the show, I like to find all the nominees' acceptance speeches and add my name.
I've hosted the Oscars, the Emmys, and my dream is to host the Tonys one day. They're the gay couple that lives on our street. They're very particular about what dinner parties they attend.
I can't wait to see Billy Crystal host. I think he's gonna do a fantastic job. If I could tell him anything, it would be to enjoy every second, and if he finds a maroon blazer with elbow patches, I think I left it backstage. I'll be watching on Sunday!
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Michael Giltz: Oscar Preview: Your Winning Ballot (Plus the Best Movies Of 2011)
Thanks for your always welcome observations on pop culture.
You are the best!
Most people want to find out best actor, actress, best film, best tune. Writers, documentary winners and supporting people should have their awards sent by FedEx. This will cut the Oscar time to 30 minutes, reducing the amount of caffeine tablets I have to take. OK, OK, I understand people go to be seen at the awards. Gowns are expensive, as are tux rentals. But I think you get my point.