Keanu Reeves doesn't like computers. The Lake House star prefers to send his friends hand written letters instead of typing up a few quick e-mails. This revelation came just in time for the promotion of his new movie about a man who leaves love notes for a woman living in another time period. And just last month Keanu voiced his distaste for police states while promoting A Scanner Darkly, a movie about the evils of police states. I'm just going to go ahead and assume that Keanu's favorite type of time travel happens in a phone booth, he wishes all FBI agents could surf and thinks that long, black, creepy cape-coats are excellent! 

Kate Beckinsale is no floozy! The British star, who is set to release her new comedy Click co-starring Adam Sandler, said that she was surprised and hurt by the tabloid reaction to her marriage to Underworld director, Len Wiseman, after she split with her long-time boyfriend Michael Sheen. Beckinsale insists that she is quite conservative and wondered whether "you can find another actress in this town who's slept with only two people in a decade."  On that note, I would like to nominate Marie Osmond and the old lady from Titanic as two possible contenders. 

Brad Pitt

David Lynch's personal life might be odder than his on-screen plot lines. The director of such cult favorites as Blue Velvet, Twin Peaks and Mulholland Dr. is separating from his wife after only one month of marriage. Obviously Hollywood is no stranger to short-lived marriages (Britney, Zsa Zsa, Ernest Borgnine ... ), but Lynch and his wife already have a teenage son together, thus suggesting that they've known each other for quite some time. I guess this just proves that little pieces of paper do change people.   

Daryl Hannah's tree-sitting days are over! As reported earlier, Hannah and a bunch of other eco-celebs such as Joan Baez and Leonardo DiCaprio have been protesting the bulldozing of a subsistence farm in L.A.'s inner city for the past 23 days. The star of Splash went out with a bang yesterday when she was hauled off to prison with the rest of her fellow protesters. From her jail cell, Hannah told People, "I'm not thrilled about it, but I felt it was important to sustain my commitment." Hear that, Joan Baez and Leonardo DiCaprio? It's important to SUSTAIN your commitment. The fair-weather, tree-hugging celebs were nowhere to be seen during yesterday's police raid.  

Matt Damon and his wife, Luciana Bozan, welcomed a baby girl on Sunday. Little Isabella Damon joins Shiloh Jolie-Pitt, Violet Affleck and Suri Cruise as one of Hollywood's tiniest princesses. I'd really like to see these gals form a band together. They could call themselves The Newborn Supremacy and sing cheeky, infant-related songs like, Baby Love and Baby Got Back.

Angelina and Brad aren't the only people celebrating the birth of baby Shiloh. Denise Richards told Entertainment Tonight that she "was so thankful that Angelina had that baby" because Shiloh's arrival diverted some of the media attention away from her stormy relationship with Charlie Sheen. Phew!  I am so relieved.  At first I thought Denise's garish Pussycat Doll makeup was a desperate attempt to gain Sheen's attention (I heard he's a big fan of that particular look), but now I know it was just another part of her master plan to divert attention away from her messy divorce.   

According to Page Six,  we can now add Lindsay Lohan to Anna Wintour's "naughty list." The Herbie Fully Loaded star was sitting at Wintour's table for the CFDA Awards and allegedly visited the bathroom no less than six times in the span of two hours.  Wintour was furious with Lindsay's behavior and was overheard telling a Vogue Staffer, "tell her, if she gets up one more time, she will never be invited to one of my events again." It seems Lindsay has left her super cute Disney days in the dust and is headed towards an entirely different vehicle I like to call, The Bathroom: Fully Reloaded.

Dolphins are the latest mammals to hop on the "Jessica Alba is hot" bandwagon. The Sin City star recently confessed to the fact that the male dolphins on the set of Flipper got a little too close for comfort and would often give her "pokes" (her words, I swear).  Due to the all the friskiness on the set, Alba was forced to work solely with female dolphins.  Needless to say, Alba made sure give a shout-out to her underwater friends when she thanked "all the perverts who voted for me," for her MTV Movie Award for "Sexiest Performance".

In a special Hollywood episode of Little People, Small World, Jeremy Piven and Stephen Dorff butted heads at the NYC hot-spot Bungalow 8.  The boys were all hopped up on V.I.P. treatment and testosterone after attending a P.Diddy party and apparently were feeling quite combative.  Dorff ticked Piven off by skipping ahead of him in the bathroom line and then mouthed off about being entitled to do what he wants!  Then Piven said, "You're a has-been" to which Dorff retorted, "At least I am a movie star - you're only on TV!  Cable TV!".  Oh, snap!  Security separated the twosome before they could further dissect each other's resumes.  For the record, it's cooler to guest star on Father Dowling Mysteries than co-star on Ellen, and a toupee is never acceptable.  

Canadian couple, Ryan Reynolds and Alanis Morissette have officially ended their two year engagement.  If Reynolds wants to keep his relationship off the airwaves, he better steer clear of movie dates with forward women and doing anything ironic/not ironic at all. 

Brittany Murphy is really, really proud of her super-healthy skinniness. The Uptown Girl admitted to eating upwards of 12 eggs a day in order to bulk up and no longer "feel embarrassed about being too tiny."  Thankfully the starlet doesn't feel self-conscious anymore and is quite comfortable in her own skin (hear that Camryn Manheim? Fat girls no longer rule Hollywood!). Explaining her alleged weight-loss, Murphy claimed, "I'm the same size I was in Clueless; it's just that weight in your face changes as you get older." It sure does! And just like magic, all the fat starts wiggling into your upper lip and your arms get scarily toned and your hair turns blond!

Quick, turn the hemp factories back on! Woody Harrelson and his wife welcomed their third daughter, Makani Ravello, into the world this weekend and she's going to need something to wear!

Speaking of McConaughey ... he and Spanish siren, Penelope Cruz, are calling it quits. The twosome blamed busy work schedules as the main reason for their separation. Personally, I don't really care why they hit splits-ville, I just want to see who Penelope dates next! Let's see, judging from her past relationships it seems that her ideal man must be both a little bit crazy and a former "Sexiest Man Alive."  That pretty much narrows the field down to Nick Nolte and he'd totally go for Cruz. I hear he's a sucker for anything that rhymes with "booze", or any vice for that matter. Here's hoping he'll misplace her Spanish accent and assume she's from Tijuana ...

Milla Jovovich

Not six days old and already lil' Shiloh has her own website.  Angelina Jolie snapped up shilohnouveljoliepitt.com before Wilmer Valderrama some deranged pervert could do something unsavory with her web namesake.   And not a minute too soon!  Tom and Katie didn't move fast enough and now there is a giant clock at www.suricruise.com counting down the seconds until 'lil Suri becomes "of age".  Ew. 

Following the hot Hollywood trend to have simultaneous celebrity births, Gwen Stefani also became a new mother this weekend with the arrival of Kingston James McGregor Rossdale (or as I like to call him, the future Mr. Shiloh Jolie-Pitt).  Kingston is the first child for Gwen and her husband Gavin Rossdale and hopefully not the last.  At 36, Gwen better get cracking if she wants to finish off the Caribbean Collection - Santo Domingo and Port au Prince aren't going to birth themselves.

There is no denying the fact that Chad Lowe has single-handedly refuted the old adage Boys Don't Cry.  We've all seen him gleefully weeping throughout his wife's acceptance speeches, but this time around, the tears will not be of joy.  On Friday, Chad and Hilary Swank announced that they are ending their marriage of almost nine years.  I admire Lowe for being man enough (minus the water works) to play the role of Mr. Hilary Swank with such class and dignity.  I know he had a lot of life experience playing second fiddle to Mr. Rob Lowe, but all the same, they seemed to have given it their best shot.  Luckily the pair have no children, so now all they have to worry about is screwing up a couple of cats and some parrots. 

Sharon Stone and Robin Williams co-hosted an AIDS benefit in Cannes last night.  Williams was his typical manic self and tried to grab laughs wherever he could find them.  The RV star pretended to be a waiter, sang with Wyclef, joked about Angelina's baby and sprayed fecal matter all over himself.  Other guests included Samuel L. Jackson, Rosario Dawson, and Willem Dafoe.  The Christine Lahti Award for inappropriate bathroom breaks went to Lance Armstrong for missing his call up to the podium in favor of answering nature's call.  Lance Armstrong - he's just like us!  Except when he goes to the bathroom, he makes Tour de France Gold Records.

"Tree-sitting" is the newest craze to hit Tinsel-Town.  Begone the days of "Tree-Hugging", ye shall be banished to the land of Ugg Boots and Skeet Ulrich.  Daryl Hannah and Laura Dern are the newest movie stars to attach themselves to Joan Baez's effort to save a patch of inner-city L.A. that is being used as a mini-farm for poor people.  Despite Hannah's vertigo, she hoisted herself into a tree to show her solidarity against the property owner who is demanding $16 million dollars for the land.  Fund-raising suggestions?  I have ten words and one number.  Grumpy Old Men 3:  The Grumpiest of all Grumpy Old Men.