The countdown to finding out A's identity is just weeks away, although let's be real –– will "Pretty Little Liars" really tell us who Rosewood's resident stalker is, or will this be Ezra Fitz / Toby Cavanaugh / Mona Vanderwaal / every other character ever all over again? Only time will tell. Either way, "PLL" is ramping up its secret spillage, so get caught up with the latest in our recap. Spoiler alert: the liars remain confused about literally everything.

Ali Drugs Her Dad (#Casual), Charles DiLaurentis Gets Really Enthused About His Birthday

Remember last week when Charles DiLaurentis wrote his dad that creepy note and was like "LOL, I'm alive!" Well, poor Mr. DiLaurentis is deeply traumatized, and decides he should probably flee Rosewood to protect his himself. Uhm, yes, that is a great idea. The first great idea that's ever been on this show. But of course Alison ruins everything, drugs her dad with sleeping pills, and then sends her long-lost brother into a rage by setting the police on him. But more on that later.

Let's talk about the liars' creepy new groupie, Sara. This week, her equally shady friend, Claire, comes to town and Emily flies into a fit of jealousy. Sara ends up moving out of Em's house to live with Claire (#betyrAyal) and now Emily is all kinds of depressed. But also she and Claire are kind of dating? It's complicated.

In other news, Hanna wins a scholarship to pay for college, but womp: said scholarship is paid for by the company that shut down Radley Sanitarium. In fact, said company might be owned by Charles DiLaurentis. Meh, whatever, Sallie Mae is no joke. Take the money and run, Hanna.

Toby Cavanaugh Binge Eats Pot-Laced Candy...That Is All

So, what are the liars' plans this week? To capture A / Charles, of course! Here's what happens: after these perpetually confused ladies find out that Jason DiLaurentis is trying to reunite with his brother, Spencer comes up with a brilliant plan...to a) remove their microchips, and b) tell Toby all about Charles so he can follow Jason. Of course, this plan is an epic failure.

Not only is Toby a major buzz kill about everything, he accidentally eats a bunch of Spencer's pot-laced candy (side note: AHAHAHAHA) and ends up getting completely wasted. Like, to the point where he shows up at Jason and Charles' meeting spot and is seeing double.

Meanwhile, the liars follow Toby because they realize he's totally useless, and end up getting attacked by A in a dark alley. And speaking of Alis (see what we did there?), Alison decides to call the police and tell them about her murderous brother, causing an entire squad to show up and spook A. So yeah, as we said, epic fails all around.

Alert: A Might Not Be Charles

So, what have we learned this week? One: hugs not drugs. Two: never ask Toby to do anything. But also of note, Mona and Mike are back together, Aria is in the final rounds of a photography competition, and Charles has really hurt feelings that Jason betrayed him (as demonstrated by the fact that he sneaks into the DiLaurentis house and leaves a pouty note along with a home video).

But wait –– one more thing: it should be noted that in the final scene of this week's episode, a pair of gloved hands (presumably belonging to A) opens a present –– and it's a portrait of Charles as a child. So wait...are Charles and A the same person, or is Charles trolling A? Epic confusion, here we come.

Burning Questions

1. Are A and Charles working together, or is A Charles? We can't keep up.
2. Will Toby ever recover now that he's accidentally turned into a pot addict overnight?
3. Mona and Mike seem in love and relatively normal, but can we really trust them?
4. Sara presumably wasn't just written off "Pretty Little Liars," but what's her purpose on the show? Unless she's evil, she seems to be floundering (which makes us think she might be evil).