If "Sabotage" didn't scratch your old-guys-doing-hyper-violent-stuff itch, then "The Expendables 3" should do the trick. The third entry in the absurdly popular franchise built around Sylvester Stallone and his band of AARP-approved action stars is coming this summer, and we've finally got a teaser trailer that gives us a taste of what to expect. And it's pretty much exactly what you'd imagine.
For the most part, the teaser plays it coy, piling on the "Fast and Furious"-style jumbo font and building up the anticipation for the latest entry in a beloved series. We get flashes of action (is that some kind of armored train driving into a prison?) and a taste of the stars that populate this entry: in addition to series mainstays Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Randy Couture, Terry Crews, and Arnold Schwarzanegger, this time around they're joined by similarly creaky ass-kickers Mel Gibson, Harrison Ford, Wesley Snipes (he's out of prison everyone!), Antonio Banderas, Kelsey Grammer, and Robert Davi.
The official studio synopsis describes a lot of plot that isn't present in the teaser: apparently, Gibson plays Conrad Stonebanks (let's just repeat that so it can really sink in: Conrad Stonebanks), who cofounded the mercenary group known as the Expendables... Until Stallone's Barney Ross had to kill him for being an evil arms dealer. Well, it turns out that not even Sylvester Stallone can put down Conrad Stonebacks, and he's back, with even more villainous intent. Also, there's something about Ross training a younger group of Expendables (among them: Victor Ortiz and Kellan Lutz) to take over when these guys' arthritis finally keeps them from shooting automatic weapons.
The thing that has us the most excited about "The Expendables 3" is the director, Patrick Hughes. He directed a brilliant, blood-soaked little Australian western called "Red Hill" and this is his first big studio gig (he's also going to take on the remake of "The Raid"). So we are ready to have the dadcore mayhem brought (and brought hard). "The Expendables 3" opens on August 15.