Tim DahlbergAP

Billed as "Rocky" versus "Raging Bull," despite the fact that both those movies came out over 30 years ago, "Grudge Match" aims to settle the ultimate boxing movie debate -- or at least find a way to get Sylvester Stallone back in the ring one last time without trying to justify a "Rocky 7."

So "Grudge Match" pits two of Hollywood's most famous on-screen pugilists against each other as former rivals Henry "Razor" Sharp (Stallone) and Billy "The Kid" McDonnen (Robert De Niro). Each won one fight against the other in the '80s, but the deciding bout was called off when Razor left the sport for mysterious personal reasons. Now, three decades later, the two former light heavyweight champs are pulled back into the ring for one last big payday (how meta!) and the chance to settle who's the better boxer once and for all.

But since the three-decades-in-the-making title card bout only takes up about ten total minutes of screen time in "Grudge Match," here's a look at how the two veteran actors stack up outside the ring.

Records:
In the movie, both Razor and Kid's records have only one blemish: their loss to the other. In real life, the only time Stallone and De Niro competed against each other (for "Rocky" and "Taxi Driver"), they both lost out to Peter Finch's posthumous Oscar. While De Niro eventually got his for playing a boxer, Stallone never did.

Advantage: De Niro

Fighting Shape:
Both actors qualify for AARP membership these days, but while De Niro has mostly been relegated to playing crotchety dads and even crotchetier grandfathers at age 70, Stallone is still a bona fide action hero. Not to mention in freakishly good shape for a 67-year-old. That said, neither are able to pull off a green screen suit very well.

Advantage: Stallone

Business Savvy:
Like many retired athletes, Razor lost all his money to his corrupt former manager, which means he's stuck working at a Pittsburgh steel mill. Kid was much smarter, parlaying his fame into endorsement deals, a car dealership, and his own bar. Like De Niro, he's a man who understands the importance of making your money while you still can. Which means when a movie asks you to do a fart joke or a double entendre-filled monologue about why men love "butterscotch jellybeans (ahem, BJs)," you do it, no matter how many Oscars you have. Still, you've got to give Stallone credit for being able to continue cashing paycheques for playing the same punch-drunk lovable underdog character for this long.

Advantage: De Niro

Training:
Nobody does a training montage like Stallone, so he's got the clear edge here. And Kid's tried-and-true traditional methods of sparring and chin-ups have nothing on Razor's "old-school" approach, which involves flipping truck tires, chugging raw eggs (of course), racing a motorized scooter, piling up "Rocky" references, and being shouted at by Alan Arkin.

Advantage: Stallone

Attitude:
As a goofy comedy that gets most of its mileage out of old-age jokes and boxing movie references, "Grudge Match" is the type of production where everybody's just there to have a good time. And while nobody's having a better time than Arkin (playing Razor's cantankerous trainer), De Niro comes close, throwing himself into the antagonistic, scotch-swilling Kid with more energy than we've seen from him in a while. Stallone's Razor is much more of a wet blanket, especially in the scenes with his long-lost love, where he and Kim Basinger seemingly duke it out for who can deliver more incoherent, rambling dialogue.

Advantage: De Niro

Technological Aptitude:
Neither knows what a viral video is, though Razor is at least aware of YouTube. Kid, on the other hand, owns at least one TV, to Razor's zero. And judging from the overwhelming amount of jokes that "Grudge Match" tries to wring out of Razor's self-imposed cultural isolation, that's got to be a crucial point in Kid's column.

Advantage: De Niro

Heartfelt Speeches:
For someone who calls himself a poor communicator, Razor sure does a lot of talking, and as the movie's true lead, he dominates Kid in the cheesy monologue category. De Niro's character also goes for the heartstrings with a subplot involving his estranged son (Jon Bernthal) and precocious grandkid, and while neither lands much of an emotional punch, Stallone takes way more shots at adding some drama to the feel-good comedy.

Advantage: Stallone

Public Opinion:
Thanks to cell phone videos of the two making fools of themselves going viral, Razor and Kid's rivalry is trending enough to earn its own HBO special, video game, and a sold-out Pay-Per-View event. Razor's clearly the people's champ though, blue-collar all the way, with a bunch of his former steel mill co-workers rooting him on from the nosebleeds, while Kid's cheering section is located primarily in his bar.

Advantage: Stallone

Final Tally:
It's a split decision. De Niro draws first blood, but because this is a cheesy, broad comedy, "Grudge Match" is more about melodramatic moral victories and life lessons than knockouts. And as the movie says, it's not Stallone and De Niro's best, but it's pretty much the best they've got to offer fans these days.

"Grudge Match" is now playing in theatres.