Paramount Pictures/Everett Collection
In honor of the annual holiday, which falls on September 28 (but is observed on the last school day of Sept.), we were inspired to look to the big screen and ponder some stupid questions regarding our favorite movies.
Well, OK, as our teachers told us, there's no such thing as a stupid question. Still, there are some imponderables about so many movies that we've always felt too ashamed to ask... All right, maybe there is such a thing. Read on, and decide for yourself.
Feel free to come up with stupid movie questions of your own. We have a feeling there are enough stupid questions out there to make this feature a monthly column. If we like your questions, we'll share them next month. If you have good answers (clever, or at least funny) to our questions, we'll share those, too. And if we can answer yours, we promise to do so without making you feel stupid.
With no further ado, here's the inaugural list of Stupid Movie Questions.
"The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey"
• What does Bilbo Baggins do for a living?
"The Great Gatsby"
• If Gatsby was so rich, why couldn't he afford a bodyguard?
"Raiders of the Lost Ark"
• If Indiana Jones was on top of the Nazi submarine as it submerged, how did he get inside?
• How did Darth Vader go to the bathroom?
• Han apparently understands Wookiee, and Chewbacca apparently understands English, so why don't they speak to each other in the same language?
• Uhhhnnnnnnnnnrrrrrrrr Rooooowwwwrrrrrrrr Mmmmmmmrrrrrfffff? (Same question, asked in Wookiee.)
• "Unobtainium"? Really?
"The Dukes of Hazzard"
• Alcohol has been legal since 1933, so why are there still moonshiners?
• How come, just six years after playing Tom Hanks's love interest in "Punchline," Sally Field was playing his mother in "Forrest Gump"?
• Everyone knows that in the "Godfather" movies, the appearance of an orange is a sign that someone is about to die. So why don't the characters avoid eating oranges?
"National Lampoon's Vacation"
• If Cousin Vicki has a giant bag of marijuana -- which she either bought or grew -- how come her family is broke?
• What was Mrs. Robinson's first name? Why didn't anyone seem to know what it was?
• Nobody really bought the premise of Dolly Parton teaching Sylvester Stallone to be a country singer, but would it have worked better if Sly taught Dolly how to box?
• Do you think maybe Rick let Ilsa go away with Victor so he could start his "beautiful friendship" with Louis?
• How come James Cameron never made a sequel?