Open Road Films
"Machete kills, that's what he does," explains the President, played by Charlie Sheen. And boy, does he ever. There's enough stabbing, shooting, and disemboweling -- how Machete loves disemboweling -- to make even the most seasoned blood and guts fan a bit squeamish.
To offset the gore, there's eye candy galore in the form of buxom beauties with machine gun-equipped breasts -- and one penis-shaped gun for good measure. One can only imagine the fun Sofia Vergara had while pretending to wield a male member that doubles as a killing machine.
The clip is pretty tame in comparison -- a beauty queen played by Amber Heard shows Machete her impressive weapon arsenal -- though our hero does get in a good one-liner. Marveling at her cache, Machete muses, "So much for world peace," taking a jab at phony pageant platforms.
Indeed, there will be no peace in "Machete Kills." The blood-soaked shlockfest hits theaters October 11.
[h/t The Playlist]