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Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen have spawned a child! Well, actually, we did it for them.

In "Scary Movie 5," the stars play a couple and spend most of their screen time together in bed, so it's only natural to wonder what a Lohan-Sheen baby would look like, right?

Certain characteristics of a Lohan-Sheen offspring would be givens: adonis DNA, tiger blood, and a permanent alcohol-monitoring anklet. But, to answer any other questions you may have about the appearance of the pair's non-existent child, we give you "Baby Sheenhan"!

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