With McClane and son making Valentine's Day safe from Russian terrorists, we thought we'd break down what Bruce Willis has called "The Mythology of John McClane" by citing every crazy-ass, balls-to-the-wall thing the supercop has done in all four entries of the series. Yippee Ki-Hooray!
"Die Hard" (1988) -Curls his toes on a rug to avoid jet lag. -Choke-holds a guy while tumbling down a stairwell. -Sends dead terrorist down on an elevator in a Santa hat with the words "NOW I HAVE A MACHINE GUN HO-HO-HO" written in blood on his sweater. -Slides down a horizontal roof vent to avoid machine gun fire. -Uses a gun as a doorstop so he can wriggle through a vent fan. -Crawls through an air duct lit by a cigarette lighter, while getting shot at. -Shoots a guy six times from under a table. -Drops a dead dude onto Sgt. Al Powell's (Reginald VelJohnson) car to tip him off about the terrorists. -Via walkie talkie, tells Hans Gruber (Alan Rickman) "Yippee Ki-Yay, motherf**ker." -Ties C4 to a chair, weighs it down with a computer monitor, and chucks it down an elevator shaft. *KABLOOEY* -Trudges through broken glass, then pulls the shards out of his bare feet. -Hangs the long-haired blonde terrorist 20-feet off the ground with a chain. -Uses a firehose as rope to evade a rooftop explosion, then shoots his way back in through a window. -Shoots the final terrorists with a gun duct taped to his back, thus saving the day.
"Die Hard 2: Die Harder" (1990) -Cruhes a bad guy in a luggage sorter. -Rides a girl's bike into a terrorist to knock him down. -Crawls through another air duct, using the vent to blindside Robert Patrick (!) while he shoots him. Take that, T-1000! -Knocks a bad guy off of a painting scaffold, then crushes him with it. -While subdued under a fallen plank, uses a moving walkway to bring a gun to him so he can waste a baddie. -Uses a pair of crummy torches to try to alert a plane of their low altitude. (It doesn't work.) -Exits from an underground grating just as a freshly-landed plane heads straight for him. (He ducks.) -Hops in an ejector seat to escape an exploding plane, then parachutes to safety. -Stabs a bad guy in the eye with an icicle, then breaks it off in his head. -Jumps a snowmobile over a truck and jumps off it midair before it explodes. -Fires a (non-lethal) machine gun at Dennis Franz to prove the commandos' guns had blanks. -Leaps from a helicopter onto a taxiing jumbo jet. -Pushes John Amos into the jet engine, turning him into a human smoothie. -Fights William Sadler on the wing of the jet, then pulls the gas tank cap off. He then uses the fuel to simultaneously explode the plane and create a landing light, thus saving the day.
"Die Hard With a Vengeance" (1995) -Walks through Harlem, under terrorist orders, wearing a placard that reads "I HATE NI**ERS." -Commandeers a taxicab and drives it through Central Park. -Hops onto a moving NYC subway car, finds a bomb, and throws it out the back of the train just in the nick of time to ride the derailed car onto the platform. -Steals a kid's bike so he can get to Wall Street. -Wastes four guys during a Mexican standoff in an elevator. -Jumps a Mercedes off an overpass. -Rides a dump truck through a flood, then grabs hold of a grate so he can be squirted out onto the street just in time for Sam Jackson to spot him. -Spins the Mercedes 360 degrees so he can shoot the bad guy driving behind him in a truck. -While on a bridge, uses a wire so he and Sam Jackson can climb... then swing their way down onto the villain's boat. -Mixes explosive material to break Sam Jackson's handcuffs. -Jumps from a Hiroshima-sized exploding boat. -Shoots a wire (with his last two bullets), which knocks Jeremy Irons' helicopter into a telephone pole, causing it to explode, thus saving the day.
"Live Free or Die Hard" (2007) -Stops a guy from getting to second base with his daughter. -Slides a fire extinguisher down a hallway and shoots it, sending a bad guy flying out the window. -Knocks a guy with a machine gun out with a punch through a wall. -Shoots a Terminator doll off a shelf, which inadvertently triggers a bomb. -Drives a guy, who's strangling him in the driver's seat, into a dumpster. -Runs down a fire hydrant, which shoots water up in the air and knocks a shooter out of a helicopter. -Ducks down as a flipping car flies towards him and Justin Long, only to have two cars on either side of them block the deathmobile. -Leaps from a moving police cruiser just before it goes flying up a ramp and into a helicopter, causing it to explode. -Pulls the trigger on a bad guy's holstered gun, which shoots a hole in his foot. Then he kills him. -Throws Maggie Q into a shelf full of glass. -Falls from three stories, knocks into a duct, falls to the ground, then just kinda gets up. -Drives a minivan into Maggie Q, then sends it careening down an elevator shaft where (after a four or five-minute suspended fight) it falls to the bottom and explodes. -Pushes a guy in a wheelie office chair down a flight of steps. -Kicks some vents open that push a Parkour guy into some spinning blades. -Leaps onto a moving truck, shoots the driver, then gets behind the wheel. -Plays chicken with a fighter jet, then jumps onto the wing, then slides down a destroyed freeway ramp just before the jet crashes and explodes. -Shoots himself in his own shoulder so he can kill Timothy Olyphant... thus saving the day.