CATEGORIES Movie NewsAs the "Die Hard" franchise passes its healthy 25-year anniversary milestone, it also launches a robust (and perhaps unnecessary?) fifth entry, "A Good Day to Die Hard," which hits theaters this Friday.
With McClane and son making Valentine's Day safe from Russian terrorists, we thought we'd break down what Bruce Willis has called "The Mythology of John McClane" by citing every crazy-ass, balls-to-the-wall thing the supercop has done in all four entries of the series. Yippee Ki-Hooray!
"Die Hard" (1988) -Curls his toes on a rug to avoid jet lag. -Choke-holds a guy while tumbling down a stairwell. -Sends dead terrorist down on an elevator in a Santa hat with the words "NOW I HAVE A MACHINE GUN HO-HO-HO" written in blood on his sweater. -Slides down a horizontal roof vent to avoid machine gun fire. -Uses a gun as a doorstop so he can wriggle through a vent fan. -Crawls through an air duct lit by a cigarette lighter, while getting shot at. -Shoots a guy six times from under a table. -Drops a dead dude onto Sgt. Al Powell's (Reginald VelJohnson) car to tip him off about the terrorists. -Via walkie talkie, tells Hans Gruber (Alan Rickman) "Yippee Ki-Yay, motherf**ker." -Ties C4 to a chair, weighs it down with a computer monitor, and chucks it down an elevator shaft. *KABLOOEY* -Trudges through broken glass, then pulls the shards out of his bare feet. -Hangs the long-haired blonde terrorist 20-feet off the ground with a chain. -Uses a firehose as rope to evade a rooftop explosion, then shoots his way back in through a window. -Shoots the final terrorists with a gun duct taped to his back, thus saving the day.
"Die Hard 2: Die Harder" (1990) -Cruhes a bad guy in a luggage sorter. -Rides a girl's bike into a terrorist to knock him down. -Crawls through another air duct, using the vent to blindside Robert Patrick (!) while he shoots him. Take that, T-1000! -Knocks a bad guy off of a painting scaffold, then crushes him with it. -While subdued under a fallen plank, uses a moving walkway to bring a gun to him so he can waste a baddie. -Uses a pair of crummy torches to try to alert a plane of their low altitude. (It doesn't work.) -Exits from an underground grating just as a freshly-landed plane heads straight for him. (He ducks.) -Hops in an ejector seat to escape an exploding plane, then parachutes to safety. -Stabs a bad guy in the eye with an icicle, then breaks it off in his head. -Jumps a snowmobile over a truck and jumps off it midair before it explodes. -Fires a (non-lethal) machine gun at Dennis Franz to prove the commandos' guns had blanks. -Leaps from a helicopter onto a taxiing jumbo jet. -Pushes John Amos into the jet engine, turning him into a human smoothie. -Fights William Sadler on the wing of the jet, then pulls the gas tank cap off. He then uses the fuel to simultaneously explode the plane and create a landing light, thus saving the day.
"Die Hard With a Vengeance" (1995) -Walks through Harlem, under terrorist orders, wearing a placard that reads "I HATE NI**ERS." -Commandeers a taxicab and drives it through Central Park. -Hops onto a moving NYC subway car, finds a bomb, and throws it out the back of the train just in the nick of time to ride the derailed car onto the platform. -Steals a kid's bike so he can get to Wall Street. -Wastes four guys during a Mexican standoff in an elevator. -Jumps a Mercedes off an overpass. -Rides a dump truck through a flood, then grabs hold of a grate so he can be squirted out onto the street just in time for Sam Jackson to spot him. -Spins the Mercedes 360 degrees so he can shoot the bad guy driving behind him in a truck. -While on a bridge, uses a wire so he and Sam Jackson can climb... then swing their way down onto the villain's boat. -Mixes explosive material to break Sam Jackson's handcuffs. -Jumps from a Hiroshima-sized exploding boat. -Shoots a wire (with his last two bullets), which knocks Jeremy Irons' helicopter into a telephone pole, causing it to explode, thus saving the day.
"Live Free or Die Hard" (2007) -Stops a guy from getting to second base with his daughter. -Slides a fire extinguisher down a hallway and shoots it, sending a bad guy flying out the window. -Knocks a guy with a machine gun out with a punch through a wall. -Shoots a Terminator doll off a shelf, which inadvertently triggers a bomb. -Drives a guy, who's strangling him in the driver's seat, into a dumpster. -Runs down a fire hydrant, which shoots water up in the air and knocks a shooter out of a helicopter. -Ducks down as a flipping car flies towards him and Justin Long, only to have two cars on either side of them block the deathmobile. -Leaps from a moving police cruiser just before it goes flying up a ramp and into a helicopter, causing it to explode. -Pulls the trigger on a bad guy's holstered gun, which shoots a hole in his foot. Then he kills him. -Throws Maggie Q into a shelf full of glass. -Falls from three stories, knocks into a duct, falls to the ground, then just kinda gets up. -Drives a minivan into Maggie Q, then sends it careening down an elevator shaft where (after a four or five-minute suspended fight) it falls to the bottom and explodes. -Pushes a guy in a wheelie office chair down a flight of steps. -Kicks some vents open that push a Parkour guy into some spinning blades. -Leaps onto a moving truck, shoots the driver, then gets behind the wheel. -Plays chicken with a fighter jet, then jumps onto the wing, then slides down a destroyed freeway ramp just before the jet crashes and explodes. -Shoots himself in his own shoulder so he can kill Timothy Olyphant... thus saving the day.