Back in 1987, you could watch "21 Jump Street," with newcomer Johnny Depp, on your local over-the-air Fox affiliate for free. Today, there is a movie in theaters called "21 Jump Street," this time with Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum in starring roles, and you'll have to spend money to enjoy it. As a service to you and your wallet, we answer every question that you could possibly have about the cinematic version of 21 Jump Street.
Q: Is 21 Jump Street anything like the Fox television show?
A: 21 Jump Street has very little to do with the television show. Though, technically, it can be considered a continuation of that series because the film takes place in the current day and the characters from the original show are not rebooted.
Q: So the movie version of 21 Jump Street is considered canon.
A: According to Jonah Hill, yes.
Q: What about this website of 21 Jump Street fan fiction that I just found? Is any of that canon?
Q: If you could select one entry of 21 Jump Street fan fiction to become canon, which one would it be?
A: The one, in which Tom Hanson becomes a teen wolf.
Q: Does anyone become a teen wolf in the movie version of 21 Jump Street?
A: No, sadly.
Q: What is the basic plot of 21 Jump Street?
A: Morton Schmidt (Jonah Hill) and Greg Jenko (Channing Tatum) were high school classmates, but complete opposites. Years later, they go through the police academy together and become friends.
Q: Thanks to the whimsical and hilarious sound effects produced by one of their academy classmates?
A: No. You're thinking of Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol.
Q: Are Schmidt and Jenko successful as police officers?
A: Considering that this movie is a comedy: no, they are not. After a drug bust gone bad, their captain (Nick Offerman) reassigns the duo to an undercover operation, which infiltrates high schools and searches for the source of a mysterious new drug.
Q: Mysterious drug? Does that mean that there will be a scene with one of the stars of this film tripping out on said drug?
A: Yes, but it's a good scene.
Q: If I really like Nick Offerman as Ron Swanson on Parks and Recreation, should I see 21 Jump Street for his appearance alone?
A: No. Offerman is in the film for about 60 seconds.
Q: Channing Tatum's character is named Greg Jenko. Wasn't there a Jenko on the original series?
A: Federic Forrest played Captain Richard Jenko for the first six episodes of the series, but the character was killed off in a car accident.
Q: What's the best thing about 21 Jump Street?
A: Channing Tatum, surprisingly.
Q: Because he plays the dumb jock?
A: This is one reason that 21 Jump Street actually excels. Once undercover, Schmidt and Jenko can't remember their new names. Because of this, Jenko is put into classes with the nerds. Watching Channing Tatum interact with nerds -- then become a nerd himself -- is a delight.
Q: What is the second best thing about 21 Jump Street?
A: That would be a tie between Ice Cube and Dave Franco.
Q: Should I see 21 Jump Street?
A: You should.
Q: I don't believe you.
A: Eh, that's fair. But I can't stress enough how funny this movie is.
Q: How can 21 Jump Street possibly be good?
A: 21 Jump Street's biggest strength is that it's self-aware -- almost too self aware at times. It's almost as if this movie has the ability to read your mind. As soon as you think, Wait a minute, that's stupid, the film will address exactly what you were just thinking.
Q: If you could read minds, what am I thinking right now?
A: There's nothing that you can say that will convince me to see this movie.
Q: Are there any cameos from any members of the original cast of the television version of 21 Jump Street?
Q: Is Richard Grieco in the film version of 21 Jump Street?
Q: What possibly could Richard Grieco have been busy doing instead of making a cameo in 21 Jump Street?
A: Well, he did play Loki.
Q: Wait, I thought Tom Hiddleston played Loki?
A: He did in the Marvel Studio version of Thor. But Richard Grieco played Loki in the Asylum Studios version, called Almighty Thor. He was also in something called Cats Dancing on Jupiter
Q: Whose presence always makes a movie better?
A: Rob Riggle and Chris Parnell.
Q: How many penises will I see during the course of watching 21 Jump Street?
Q: Does Jonny Depp appear in this movie?
A: As a teen wolf? No.
Mike Ryan is the senior writer for Moviefone. He has written for Wired Magazine, VanityFair.com, GQ.com, New York Magazine and Movieline. He likes Star Wars a lot. You can contact Mike Ryan directly on Twitter