Billy Crystal Oscar Monologue 2012: Academy Award Host Sings, Dances

First Posted: 02/26/2012 8:46 pm Updated: 02/27/2012 2:19 am

"I'm here to get you the 18-24 year-old demographic," so said Justin Bieber to Billy Crystal during an opening segment that saw the nine-time Oscar host insert himself in Best Picture nominees "Hugo," "The Artist," "Midnight In Paris" and "Moneyball," as well as blockbusters like "Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol."

For the "Midnight in Paris" segment, Crystal donned black face to play Sammy Davis, Jr. -- an impersonation he made famous during the 1980s.

"That was extremely loud and incredibly close," Crystal quipped following the pre-taped segment. "That's how my relatives are watching the show."

He later added, "Tonight, enjoy yourselves, because nothing can take the sting out of the world's economic problems like watching millionaires present each other with golden statues."

Crystal went on to parody the nine nominees with songs, including "That's Amore" for Best Picture nominee "Hugo."

Later in the broadcast, Crystal mocked the GOP candidates while introducing presenter Christian Bale. You can watch a clip of the performance below.

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"I'm here to get you the 18-24 year-old demographic," so said Justin Bieber to Billy Crystal during an opening segment that saw the nine-time Oscar host insert himself in Best Picture nominees "Hugo,"...
"I'm here to get you the 18-24 year-old demographic," so said Justin Bieber to Billy Crystal during an opening segment that saw the nine-time Oscar host insert himself in Best Picture nominees "Hugo,"...
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01:44 PM on 02/28/2012
His plastic surgery was as awful as he was.
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12:40 AM on 02/28/2012
Wonderful Wonderful Wonderful! Billy was as good as I always knew he would be. So glad to see some real humor again. Loved Emma Stone, Robert Downey, Will Ferrel and all the other skits. This is the best Oscar I have seen in YEARS! I am up there in age. Please don't tell anyone in Hollywood...
08:34 PM on 02/27/2012
He looks
Ike an old Jewish yenta more every day !
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Chubbster
Always Under Moderation
06:47 PM on 02/27/2012
What's with his puffy face? Is he on prednisone?
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carmenalex
!Mamá caliente humanista!
03:08 PM on 02/27/2012
Well I think he did great. I loved him. hel l of a lot better than the last couple of years.
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montanahighline
02:46 PM on 02/27/2012
Love all the slams at old age and older people posting here. Too bad the infants didn't get their usual smatter of poop, pee and junior high sex jokes. If anyone is responsible for bad taste and lousy movies it is them. Let the old ones have the Oscars. Most of the crappy movies made these days are for the young. Mature people seldom attend the movies anymore. There is better and more adult entertainment on television such as HBO and Showtime and other cable channels. Wait until you grow up and all you have to choose from at the movies are lame adolescent comedies and movies where the plot centers around who can torture or chop up bodies into parts. Or, hopefully, we will have younger generations coming up who will actually be interested in movies that have substance and import rather than just finding such films "boring." If some of you want boring, look in the mirror.
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commiepinko
The Naked Truth
01:28 PM on 02/27/2012
B O R I N G
01:22 PM on 02/27/2012
For next year I hear they've filed an exhumation order for Bob Hope.
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mvaldivia32
"fade to bolivian" - Mike Tyson
01:12 PM on 02/27/2012
At 63, Billy Chrystal's hairline has reached behind his ears and yet it's the color of his tuxedo. Good CGI huh?
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12:31 PM on 02/27/2012
Billy Crystal is a little freaky looking. For 64, he has no gray hair and his forehead is botox tight. He should be on the real housewives.
12:28 PM on 02/27/2012
Billy Crystal on a bad day is MUCH better than anyone else they have had host the show on a good day. He may not have made everyone roll in the aisles with hysterical laughter, but he still kept the show classy, reasonably funny and it moved with a nice pace. I'll take Billy over anyone else.
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friendjudy
In war, truth is the first casualty.
08:03 PM on 02/27/2012
X2
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jamesh1954
12:25 PM on 02/27/2012
"Tonight, enjoy yourselves, because nothing can take the sting out of the world's economic problems like watching millionaires present each other with golden statues."
/Best. Line. Ever.
11:58 AM on 02/27/2012
It's not pc to say at all but whatev: Billy reminds me of menwholooklikeoldlesbians
11:51 AM on 02/27/2012
I enjoyed Billy Crystal. The show was pretty predictable. I wish they would've had the singers perform the original song nominees. www.thelettersproject.org
11:48 AM on 02/27/2012
worst host ever, probably the most boring oscars ever as well