You probably didn't think much of 'G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra' despite its $300 million worldwide gross. After all, the film -- from noted hack director Stephen Sommers -- was savaged by critics, and audiences didn't seem too pleased either -- at least judging by 'G.I. Joe's' heinous IMDb user rating. Fortunately, 'The Rise of Cobra' came out at a time when ticket buyers were spending money like the 1%; put out 'The Rise of Cobra' now, and it would be lucky to hit $200 million worldwide -- even in 3D. So! How did Paramount change 'G.I. Joe: Retaliation' in an effort to prevent the sequel from paying for the sins of the original? By casting Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Bruce Willis and Tyra from 'Friday Night Lights,' of course!
Directed by the increasingly interesting Jon M. Chu, 'G.I. Joe: Retaliation' plays like a sweatier version of 'Mission: Impossible.' The 'Joe' team is wrongfully accused of being a threat to national security and all are killed -- except for Roadblock (Johnson), Duke (Channing Tatum) and Lady Jaye (Adrianne Palicki; TYRA!). Together they team with original G.I. Joe, Joe Colton (Bruce Willis), to stop Cobra from taking over the White House. "The world ain't saving itself," says Roadblock before a techno version of 'Seven Nation Army' kicks in on the soundtrack. Hey, why not?
'G.I. Joe: Retaliation' hits theaters on June 29, 2012.
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