A little over two weeks ago, The Rock Tweeted about how he would be honored to work on a movie with his heroes, Clint Eastwood and Steve McQueen. Here at Moviefone HQ, we would love to see The Rock star in a movie with Clint Eastwood. So! We took it upon ourselves to imagine what a snippet of an Eastwood-Rock buddy action comedy -- titled 'Rocked and Loaded' -- would look like if it were written by 'Shame' director and co-writer Steve McQueen (yes, I know this isn't the McQueen that The Rock is talking about, but it is a Steve McQueen) with some help from Damon Lindelof.
In 'Rocked and Loaded,' Eastwood plays Danny Rock, a veteran private investigator who, along with fellow P.I., Frank Load, played by The Rock, are framed for a crime that they didn't commit.
So, Rock, what do you think? (Also, you're welcome, no one.)
'Rocked & Loaded'
Inspired by the book
by Judy Blume
INT. FRANK LOAD'S APARTMENT -- NIGHT
DANNY ROCK is a grizzled private investigator. He has seen it all. Over the course of his 40 years on the job, he has solved even the most ghoulish of cases. His eyes look tired. But even tired eyes can't hide the fear -- the fear of irrelevancy and his fear of sexual addiction.
FRANK LOAD is a hulk of a man, better suited for the brute force work of a bouncer than that of a private investigator. Raised by wolves, LOAD has a tendency to let his fists do the talking. That's meant literally: LOAD often uses a sock-puppet named DARREN to speak for him.
Both men have just been framed for a crime they did not commit. The very crime that both of them, separately, were investigating.
Listen, punk, I think we should go to the police. I think if we calmly explain what happened, we can clear this whole mess up, punk.
But we don't even know what happened, old-timer. No matter what we try to tell the police, nothing's going to change the fact that there's a dead llama in my apartment.
It's not a llama, punk. It's an alpaca.
No, I'm certain it's a llama.
Look, llamas are at least twice the size of an alpaca. I'm 81-years-old, I know the difference between an alpaca and a llama.
Oh, yeah? Well, my fist says it's a llama. Boots to asses!
FRANK (speaking through DARREN)
It's a llama. I'm positive it's a llama.
Well, whatever it is, it's the ambassador's. And the ambassador thinks we killed it and he has good reason, considering that it's in your apartment. And take that stupid sock puppet off. You look like a damn fool.
FRANK removes DARREN from his hand.
We'll never get through this unless we work together. Are you with me, Danny?
DANNY contemplates FRANK's offer
Only together can we discover the truth.
FRANK extends his hand.
You have a deal. For now, punk.
Go TEAM BRING IT! HASHTAG!
FRANK and DANNY approach FRANK's window. FRANK opens his window, then the two unlikely partners fly off into the night's sky. (P.S., They can fly.)
EXT. FRANK'S APARTMENT -- NIGHT
It's revealed that FRANK's apartment is located on Saturn's moon, Titan, which is now used as a location to mate and combine the genetic code of alpacas, llamas and humans.
DANNY and FRANK flying through the low-gravity Titan night sky. The camera pans over to FRANK's right hand, the hand that is usually covered by DARREN. It's the hoof of an Alpaca.
R O C K E D A N D L O A D E D
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