As we speak, the buzz on the street is about Justin Timberlake's new movie the St. Louis Cardinals' improbable Game 6 World Series victory. The name of the new Justin Timberlake movie is 'In Time,' though it has nothing to do with time travel. In 'In Time', time is the new currency (and, yes I realized that the beginning of this sentence reads "in in time time"), meaning that living day-to-day on wages is now a literal reality. Is 'In Time' anything like 'Logan's Run'? Will watching 'In Time' take years off of your own life? As a service, here is an answer to every question that you could possibly have about 'In Time.'

Q: Is 'In Time' anything like 'Logan's Run'?

A: Sort of, but not really. In 'Logan's Run,' a person is killed when he or she reaches the age of 30. In 'In Time,' a person is put on an initial year-long countdown when he or she reaches the age of 25. But since time can be added, a person could theoretically live for an eternity because his or her body stops aging at 25.

Q: For the rest of this piece, will you refer to Justin Timberlake as Timberlogan anyway?

A: Yes.

Q: How can a person add time?

A: Time is now currency. So, after a day of work, a person is paid by adding time to an employee's lifespan, which is kept track of by a handy, dandy clock on a person's left arm. Most people only have about a day left at any given time, so, yes, they are literally living from paycheck to paycheck.

Q: Wait, are the themes in 'In Time' alluding at all to current events and the state of our own economy?

A: Where do you come up with these crazy ideas? Nut job.

Q: Is a salary the only way to earn extra time?

A: Time can also be stolen, which is probably the worst aspect of this movie.

Q: How does one steal time from another person?

A: By grabbing another person's right arm and taking it. Time can be given away by using this method as well.

Q: Wait, how is it decided who is taking or giving what? Can't a person just not let their time be taken if they don't want it taken?

A: This is never really fully explained. During the course of the film, any criminal who wants time seems to be able to take it just fine. It might have something to do with whose arm is on top -- as there is a game of strength that centers around this aspect.

Q: How much time has Lincoln Hawk earned?

A: It's unknown how much time Sylvester Stallone's character from 'Over the Top' has earned in 'In Time,' he is not mentioned in any capacity.

Q: Does Justin Timberlake steal time?

A: Timberlogan plays Will Salas, a man living day-to-day with his mother, played by Olivia Wilde (yes, this is just as unintentionally hilarious as it sounds). At his local pub, Will helps a man out of a skirmish -- a suicidal and wealthy man who gives Will his remaining time, which totals over 100 years.

Q: You know, I really feel there's a statement trying to be made with the parallels between...

A: Hippie.

Q: What does Will do with all of this time?

A: He tries to give some time to his mother, let's just say this goes poorly. He does give ten years to his best friend, Leonard Hofstadter. Then he takes off for the greener pastures of New Greenwich, which is where people with a lot of time live.

Q: How does one get to New Greenwich?

A: Will must pass through many barriers called Time Zones, each time zone gets more expensive to enter. Just to enter New Greenwich, Will must pay with a year of his life.

Q: Am I wrong, or does this movie sound interesting?

A: The concept is unbelievably interesting. But it's not long after Will reaches New Greenwich that 'In Time' becomes absurd.

Q: What happens when Will reached New Greenwich?

A: Will is good at poker, so he decides to go "all in" on a poker hand against one of wealthiest men in the world, Philippe Weis (Vincent Kartheiser), who, for all intents and purposes, is immortal. Will loses and dies. The end. Will wins, earning himself over 1000 years.

Q Will an asteroid hitting Earth still kill Vincent Kartheiser? What about when the moon eventually drifts too far away from Earth and throws the Earth's axis into chaos? Or, wait, what about when our nearest star starts burning helium instead of hydrogen, causing the sun to expand and engulf the Earth in flames?

A: All of these things would kill Vincent Kartheiser in the film and in real life, too. The unlimited time doesn't protect against accidents and natural disasters. For example, characters never go swimming in the ocean because it's too dangerous.

Q: What does Will do with his, now, 1000 years?

A: Well, he doesn't have his 1000 years for long. Cillian Murphy shows up, accuses Will of stealing his initial 100 years, and places Will under arrest.

Q: Ha, I do that all the time, too -- confuse Cillian Murphy with Vincent Kartheiser.



A: Both Cillian Murphy and Vincent Kartheiser are in 'In Time.' Murphy plays a police officer, of sorts -- referred to as "Timekeepers."

Q: Everyone stops aging at 25 in 'In Time.' In real life, how old is Cillian Murphy?

A: 35

Q: Does Will go peacefully?

A: God, I wish. No... instead Will runs away and, in the process, takes Kartheiser's daughter, Sylvia (Amanda Seyfried) as a hostage: a woman Will is supposedly now in love with, even though he keeps a gun pointed at her for a good portion of the film. It's at this point that the film drifts from "interesting concept" to "action movie with a chase scene involving a car being driven in reverse."

Q: Does Sylvia eventually fall in love with Will?

A: He's dangerous! He's from the wrong side of the tracks! And he looks like Justin Timberlogan! Of course she falls in love with Will. The two eventually go on a bank robbery spree (the banks are owned by Sylvia's father), in order to steal, then hand out time to the poor -- and it's interesting to note that it appears that the two of them actually invented the concept of robbing a bank. People are dying on the streets because they are running out of time, yet, no one ever thought, "Hey, let's rob a bank. Fuck it, we're dead anyway, right?"

Q: What's the biggest problem with 'In Time'?

A: Timberlogan's character is innocent. But during his escape he actually does commit many crimes, including stealing time from other humans -- not to mention, as stated, taking Sylvia hostage.

Q: How many years will watching 'In Time' take off of my life due to frustration and confusion?

A: One.

Q: Being originally from St. Louis, how many years has this World Series taken off of your life?

A: Three.

Q: Should I see 'In Time'?

A: Sure, I guess? 'In Time' is by no means a good movie, which, as I've alluded to, is a shame because the subject matter is downright fascinating; it could have been a really good movie. You'll most likely be entertained, but you'll also most likely set a record for "times I rolled my eyes."

Q: If you're going to be blurbed in this weekend's commercials for 'In Time,' what quote do you think will be used?

A: "A good movie ... a really good movie!" Mike Ryan, Moviefone

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[Top Photo: Stephen Vaughan/20th Century Fox; Middle Photos: Getty]




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