CATEGORIES Movies

Do you want to have nightmares this weekend? Then perhaps I can interest you in a showing of 'Paranormal Activity 3.' (I'm not kidding about the nightmares either: after watching the film last night, I dreamt the house I was living in burned to the ground. Also, Eddie Vedder showed up at some point -- but I don't think that had anything to do with the movie itself.)

'Paranormal Activity 3,' a prequel to the first two films, follows a family in 1988 being haunted by a demon. To prepare you for the onslaught of freak-outs, deaths and '80s references, Moviefone has put together a trusty by-the-numbers guide. Don't worry, there are no major plot spoilers; this piece is purely informational. Oh, and if you do decide to see this in theaters, I hope your audience is as animated as the one I was with.

Number of opening credits: 0

Awkward sex scenes: 1

Stupid parents: 1

Pairs of Reebok Pumps: 1

Number of Brite-Lites: 1

Number of Brite-Lites depicting demon symbols: 1

Actual instances of paranormal activity: 52

Nods to 'Poltergeist': 1

Total number of demon symbols: 6

Scary scenes that made the audience jump: 10

"Holy sh-t" scenes that made the audience jump, scream and (maybe) soil themselves: 16

Betamax references: 1

Bloody Mary references: 9

Unnecessarily creepy teddy bears: 1

Conversations that suspiciously sounded like 'Back to the Future' dialogue: 1

Times someone in the audience said, "I am freaking out yo": 2

Times someone in the audience said, "You need to come get your kids": 1

Mercedes Benz station wagons in bright orange: 1

Times I was reminded of the twin girls from 'The Shining': 437

Actors wearing jean vests: 1

Cell phones going off in the theater during the screening: 3

Times the audience laughed at the use of ancient VHS tapes: 6

Actors in the film who looked exactly like James Franco: 1

Kids who freaked me out on the subway ride home after the movie because they were talking to themselves: 1






Follow Alex Suskind on Twitter
Follow Moviefone on Twitter
Like Moviefone on Facebook