Movies about board games, apparently! "People really seem to respond to those," Kaling recalls the executives tell her. Based on that eye-opener, she offers a list of 14 titles that may be "soon coming to a theater near you in the future." They aren't, of course, but that doesn't make them any less on-point.
'Apples to Apples 4D' (The audience is pummelled with apples at the end of the movie.)
'Sharks vs. Volcanoes'
'King Tut vs. King Kong'
'Streptococcus vs. Candidiasis' (Strep Throat vs. Yeast Infection)
'Street Stupid' ('Street Smart' sequel)
'The Untitled Liam Neeson Vendetta Project'
'Human Quilt' (horror movie)
'The Cute Bear from Those Toilet-Paper Ads Movie'
Not bad -- especially the 'Untitled Liam Neeson Vendetta Project.' Read the full excerpt of Kaling's book over at the New Yorker. It arrives in stores on Nov. 1.
Photo: Jordan Strauss/Getty Images
Related: 16 upcoming Hollywood remakes
Gallery | 16 Upcoming Movie Remakes
Out in October, the new version of 'Footloose' replaces Kevin Bacon with Kenny Wormald, simple Midwestern dancing with moves out of 'Step Up,' and Kenny Loggins with Blake Shelton. It's also -- judging from advance buzz -- actually pretty good. Cut loose?
The 1983 Matthew Broderick/Ally Sheedy computer thriller (which was the fifth biggest hit of that year) is getting an update thanks to 'Horrible Bosses' director Seth Gordon and screenwriter Noah Oppenheim. No word yet on who will play Matthew Broderick, but you might as well start imagining Shia LaBeouf in the role to prepare yourself just in case.
The Wild Bunch
Apparently the '80s aren't the only decade Hollywood likes to pillage for remakes. It was recently revealed that Tony Scott is considering a remake of the Sam Peckinpah-directed classic 'The Wild Bunch.' Hey, if it was good enough for 'Straw Dogs'...
Not that 'The Wild Bunch' is the only remake on Tony Scott's mind. Deadline also reported that the director is hot to continue/remake his '80s classic 'Top Gun.'
Because Arnold Schwarzenegger and Colin Farrell are so similar, here comes a Farrell-led remake of 'Total Recall.' Though, truthfully, this remake owes more to the original Phillip K. Dick short story than the classic Paul Verhoeven-directed film. Farrell won't even get his ass to Mars in the actioner, which is due out next August.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Produced by Michael Bay, this new (new) incarnation of 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' will come courtesy of the screenwriters behind 'Iron Man.' Not bad! Turtle power?
Meanwhile, in unhappy production news: Tim Hill, the director behind 'Alvin and the Chipmunks' and 'Hop,' was hired to helm the planned 'Short Circuit' remake. Johnny Five is alive. With poop jokes.
Once earmarked for Darren Aronofsky, the long in-development 'RoboCop' remake may go before cameras with Jose Padilha as director.
Rechristened 'Dredd,' the remake of the Sylvester Stallone comic adventure you didn't like stars Karl Urban ('Star Trek') and Olivia Thirlby ('Juno'). No Rob Schneider, sadly. It'll hit theaters in 2012.
Another long developing reboot of a trashy '80s property, 'Highlander' recently locked down a director: Juan Carlos Fresnadillo. He replaced the attached Justin Lin ('Fast Five') last week. Hopefully Christopher Lambert shows up for the new version.
Bradley Cooper and Juan Carlos Fresnadillo were set to remake 'The Crow' for Relativity Media, but Cooper dropped out of the project recently. With Fresnadillo already lined up for 'Highlander,' you have to wonder when 'The Crow' will actually fly again. (Groan! But you were thinking of that joke anyway.)
A Star is Born
Remade three times already (and with an unofficial remake of the story hitting theaters in November with release of 'The Artist'), 'A Star is Born' is one of Hollywood's most popular past remakes. Clint Eastwood is set to direct the new version, with Beyonce playing the leading role made famous previously by Judy Garland and Babra Streisand. The start-date of the film was delayed recently due to Beyonce's pregnancy.
Unlike most of the remakes on this list, 'Oldboy' wasn't an '80s blockbuster or seminal classic. Instead, it's a beloved cult film from South Korean director Park Chan-wook that may be even more violent than 'Drive.' Spike Lee is attached for the twisted remake, with Josh Brolin in line to star.
Wolverines! This remake was caught in the development hell created in the wake of MGM's financial troubles, but it's slated to get released sometime this year. Fun fact: star Chris Hemsworth made 'Red Dawn' before becoming an actual star with 'Thor.'
Vaya con dios. A remake of 'Point Break' was announced last week; Moviefone has some casting suggestions.
'Red Dawn,' 'Point Break,' 'Dirty Dancing,' a musical version of 'Ghost': Hollywood loves them some classic Patrick Swayze. Can a 'Father Hood' remake be far behind?