To be fair, the sheer volume of on-screen deaths in this movie would have been more surprising if the title had been 'Conan the Aristocrat.' But when the main character goes by the surname "Barbarian," it's a safe bet that there might be a kerfuffle or two -- or, well, quite a bit more. Last night, during an advanced screening of Conan the Barbarian -- starring Jason Momoa, taking over the role from an actor named Arnold Schwarzenegger -- we tried our best to keep a running count of each and every on-screen death.

A disclaimer: This is by no means a scientific study. Several scenes feature so much simultaneous carnage that it will probably be necessary one day to recruit a team of technicians to examine each frame and provide an official body count. Until that glorious day comes, however, this unofficial tally will have to do. Another caveat: these deaths actually occur on-screen; those implied by an aerial shot of post-battle carnage are not included.

Death by sacrifice: 1

Death by womb stabbing: 1

Death by molten metal to the face: 1

Death by Wolverine-style hand claw: 2

Death by living in a village that has been pillaged: 36

Death by forest sneak attack gone terribly wrong: 4

Death by head smashed on ground: 1

Death by human catapult: 1

Death by attempted ship hijacking gone terribly wrong: 11

Death by serpent: 4

Death by sword in battle: 32

Death by arrow in battle: 11

Death by being turned into dirt: 5

Death by impalement: 1

Death by lava river: 1

Death by gutting: 1

Death by beheading: 1

Grand Total of Deaths: 113

Length of 'Conan the Barbarian' in Minutes: 112

Average D.P.M. (Deaths Per Minute): 1.009

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