Charlie SheenIf you're any follower of pop culture over the past week, you know that we're all on a drug these days. And it's called "Charlie Sheen."

In his most recent interview, Charlie Sheen defended himself (and his two live-in girlfriends) on '20/20.' Before that, Sheen's rants attacking CBS and 'Two and a Half Men' creator Chuck Lorre aired on 'The Early Show,' Fox Sports Radio, 'Today' and 'Good Morning America.' His show has halted production; his publicist has quit.

Some people might say the man is just speaking his mind; others might say he's entertaining as all hell. Still others would say he's, well, crazy.

Whether he's as off his rocker as some of the most lunatic movie characters of all time, though, remains to be seen. Meanwhile, we've taken the liberty of re-imagining some of the best Charlie Sheen quotes coming from those characters' lips (and re-casting the parts with him, too). These crazy kids only wish they had The Sheen and his fire-breathing fists as their screenwriter.

BONUS: Follow Charlie Sheen on Twitter



"The only thing I'm addicted to is winning."

'Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?'

"I'm battle-tested bayonets."

'The Exorcist'

"I have cleansed myself. I closed my eyes and in a nanosecond, I cured myself."

'Fight Club'

"Newsflash: I am special, and I will never be one of you!"

'Network'

"Clearly I have defeated this earthworm with my words -- imagine what I would have done with my fire-breathing fists."

'The Shining'

"They lay down with their ugly wives and their ugly children and just look at their loser lives and then they look at me and say, 'I can't process it.'"