CATEGORIES Features, Cinematical


Technically 'Missile Command' was an arcade game before there was ever a home version, but for the sake of this article we'll just pretend it was the other way around. But yes, Fox is making a movie out of 'Missile Command" -- and Universal is making a movie out of 'Asteroids.' We can only assume that Paramount and Sony are duking it out for 'Space Invaders.'

With the news that Atari's 'Missile Command' will (finally!) be made into a feature film, we thought it would be slightly fun to pose a few more ideas based on the popular console game from the 1980s. Heck, if you can make a movie out of the image above, then you can absolutely make a flick out of...

'Adventure'



Paul Verhoeven directs Orlando Bloom in this story of a bodiless head who can somehow wield objects as large as bridges as it blazes through mazes while avoiding dragons that look like gigantic ducks. (Production is already underway on 'Adventure 2: The World's First Easter Egg: The Search for the Invisible Dot.')


'Haunted House'



Adam Green directs this story of a pair of disembodied eyeballs that wander through darkness for hours while fumbling around for keys, bats, and bizarrely large chalices. The roles of Skull, Hand, and Diamond-Shape Thingy have not yet been cast.


'Yar's Revenge'



Terry Gilliam directs this psychedelic epic about one robotic mosquito's endless battle with the static discharge of a dystopian society. Or something. Keanu Reeves is in talks to play the large orange clump.


'Warlords'



Ridley Scott directs this war story about four semi-retarded generals who live in similarly brittle castles equidistant to one another and continually throw small rocks at each other. This one's expected to be the "breakout" hit of the year.


'Kaboom'



In this international co-production between Atari and Activision (ha, right) we meet three skinny but heroic buckets who stand as the last line of defense against a horrific villain who excels in creating bomb after bomb after bomb. (Uwe Boll will direct.)

(Thanks to Atari Age / Video Game Critic for the awesome pics. Er, I mean pre-production storyboards.)