What Is 'The Tourist' About? Elise Ward (Angelina Jolie) is instructed by her fugitive thief of a lover (the mysterious, unseen Alexander Pierce), to fool the Interpol agents hot on her trail by cozying up to a stranger on a train. Tourist Frank Tupelo (Johnny Depp) is the fellow she selects, and soon he's being chased by not only Interpol but a British mobster and his Russian thugs, who are convinced he's Pierce.

Is it really as bad as the reviewers are saying? **SPOILER ALERT** Alas, yes. Though it starts off well enough, it struggles to become either as sexy, funny, supenseful or romantic as we expect, given the star power of the two leads and the picturesque international backdrops. Our favorite character-actor-turned-leading man Depp is shockingly unsexy in this and, what's worse, dull! While it's easy to believe Frank would fall for the beautiful and mysterious Elise, despite the trouble she's gotten him into, having her fall for him is a stretch. The film desperately wants to be a kind of update on 'North by Northwest' (Innocent bystander swept up in complex affairs, aided by an alluring beauty, etc.), but when Cary Grant and Eva Marie Saint meet on a train, the scene still sizzles, 50 years later. This one is about as sparkless as the electronic cigarettes Frank smokes. Click to read our full review of 'The Tourist.'

I love Angelina and Johnny, but will I love them together? The two simply don't have chemistry. Part of the problem is that Johnny is not believable as a Midwestern math teacher. (Perhaps an art or history teacher would have been more plausible, given his bohemian goatee and artfully messy hair.) And they've given his character virtually nothing to do but react in bewilderment to everything going on around him, a complete waste of Depp's quirky talents. A few very obvious twists don't really help matters much.

How steamy do Angelina and Johnny get? **SPOILER ALERT** Not very. They share one chaste kiss on a balcony and then Frank follows Elise into her bedroom for a more passionate embrace -- from which he's awoken by room service. Yep, poor Frank was only dreaming.

So, what is good about the movie? Angelina was never lovelier or more glamorous than in this film. Paul Bettany as the frustrated Interpol agent on Pierce's trail is enjoyable, as is his boss, a cranky but still charming Timothy Dalton. If only this were as much fun as a decent Bond film. And the Venice setting, while sumptuous, just makes us wish we were watching 'Casino Royale' again.

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'The Tourist' Trailer