The Weekly Trailer Awards is a column celebrating the finest achievements in trailerdom. It runs every Friday.
Best Idea for a Mission That Is Doomed for Failure: 'Source Code' (in theaters April 1). Jake Gyllenhaal plays a soldier who is somehow zapped into another man's consciousness during the last eight minutes of that man's life. That man's girlfriend is Michelle Monaghan. The soldier knows they only have eight minutes to live. He's supposed to find out who's responsible for killing them. But since he only has eight minutes, and since Michelle Monaghan is his girlfriend, he is clearly just going to have sex with Michelle Monaghan. The end.
Strangest Attempt to Get Girls Interested in Becoming Astronauts: 'Mars Needs Moms' (in theaters March 11). We know that science has traditionally been a male-dominated field, and that space travel in particular skews toward men. But telling girls that they should become astronauts when they grow up so that they can go to another planet and be "moms" for aliens? That's just sexist.
Best 'Saturday Night Live' Audition Tape: 'Frankie & Alice' (in theaters Feb. 4). The best sketch-comedy performers are the ones with a lot of versatility. To prove your worth in this department, you could either play a lot of different characters or play one character who has multiple personalities. Halle Berry goes the more efficient route here, showing off her Southern Belle character, her Stripper character, and her Pam Grier character. Please please please let one of her personalities be a racist! (Checks IMDb.) Yes! Comedy gold! (Note: This is not a comedy.)
Best Footage of Monkeys Taking a Bath and Eating the Soap, and Also of Elephants Playing Soccer: 'Born to be Wild' (in theaters April 8). If there's anything cuter than orphan baby animals being rescued, it's orphan baby animals being rescued while Morgan Freeman narrates.
Best Motivation to Learn a Practical Skill in This Tough Economy: 'The Mechanic' (in theaters Jan. 28). Ben Foster is an ordinary young man who is uncertain what to do with his future. Fortunately, Jason Statham is there to teach him how to be a killer-for-hire. Trends fade, technology changes, the economy ebbs and flows. But people who can murder other people in exchange for money will always be in demand.