Let's face it: Most bad guys are just misunderstood, right? None more so than the titular antihero of Dreamworks' new animated comedy 'Megamind,' the most brilliant -- and least successful -- supervillain the world has ever known. As the arch-nemesis of the dashing Metro Man (voiced by Brad Pitt), Megamind (Will Ferrell) is used to seeing his carefully crafted plans destroyed by the mindless hands of justice, which is more than enough to make even the smartest evil genius begin to question his chosen career path.
The public may cheer on the superheroes, but we at Moviefone understand the plight of the aspiring supervillain. For those of you with world domination on the brain, we've assembled a list of the top six essentials you'll need for highly effective evil-doing. You can thank us later (like, by maybe not eliminating us with that Death Ray)!
Persian Cat (or similarly sinister animal accessory)
Why It's Essential: Everyone knows that a supervillain needs a creepy kitty to stroke when he makes his grand entrance. We recommend the classic Persian variety to flaunt your wealth and to illustrate that even mankind's most aloof creature is no match for your icy resolve. Just make sure it doesn't start digging its claws into your leg at the moment you start your dramatic victory speech to your nemesis.
Who Did It Best: Ernst Stavro Blofeld, perhaps James Bond's greatest enemy, was the trendsetter for many supervillain staples, but he was most notable for his iconic use of a leather swivel chair and an infinitely strokable cat. It's safe to say that Dr. Evil took a page or two out of Blofeld's playbook.
Why It's Essential: Say what you want about the vigor and virility of men with lustrous hair (funny that you never see a bald superhero, huh?). But any supervillain worth his salt is the proud owner of a spectacular chrome dome (inside which he keeps that genius brain) the shinier, the better.
Who Did It Best: From Lex Luthor to Megamind himself, a villain with hair is like a fish with a bicycle. Invest in some clippers immediately.
Why It's Essential: There's an old adage that is especially true of supervillains: Why have dogs and bark yourself? Evil geniuses are far too busy plotting to take over the world to worry about things like capturing their foes or making a Starbucks run; they need minions to take care of the grunt work for them. Intellectually inferior siblings, bumbling nincompoops or the inhabitants of the city your hero lives in make excellent candidates for enslavement. Just make sure your mind control machine is in working order.
Who Did It Best: Emperor Palpatine had an army of Stormtroopers and Darth Vader to sic on the Rebel Alliance, while the evil lord Sauron had all those orcs and Ringwraiths at his disposal. Of course, none of these things helped them win in the end, but we'll blame Hollywood for that.
Inventive Death Traps
Why It's Essential: It's not enough to simply kill your nemesis once you've finally caught him -- you have to set up an ingenious method of dispatching him that offers maximum dramatic flair, just to show him who's boss. (The downside of this particular villainous trait is that it often allows your hero ample opportunity to escape your device and defeat you. But hey, nobody's perfect.)
Who Did It Best: From Blofeld's piranha pool in 'You Only Live Twice' to the array of torturous devices that Indiana Jones has had to brave in his career, there are plenty of impressive traps to choose from. We're still reeling from the Joker's malevolent game of oil drum switcheroo in 'The Dark Knight,' which robbed Batman of his lady love and made a bonus villain out of Harvey Dent. Talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Why It's Essential: If you're going to have a dramatic showdown with your superhero, you're going to need a suitably spectacular backdrop, and the conference room at your local Hilton isn't going to cut it. From underground hideouts to booby-trapped temples, your imagination (not to mention your bank account) is the only limit.
Who Did It Best: Dr. Evil may be inept at many things, but he certainly has an eye for impressive lairs. From a volcano carved with his image to a moon base "Death Star," Evil certainly showed his creativity in 'Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me.'
Why It's Essential: Sure, any regular joe with a genius-level IQ can build himself a death ray and go nuts on Metro City. But a true supervillain doesn't just destroy stuff for the hell of it, he always has an Evil Plan to justify the mayhem. Whether it's world domination, a billion-dollar payout or just the urge to force everyone in the world to throw on a hula skirt and dance the Time Warp for your amusement, you've got to come up with an inventive plot that your hero will be itching to thwart.
Who Did It Best: There have been plenty of truly moronic Evil Plans in the history of villainy (we suggest that you consult this list before plotting your own). But for a scheme we can all believe in, one only needs to turn to Magneto, the metal-molding mutant from 'X-Men,' to show us how it's done. After seeing his fellow mutants persecuted by the pesky human majority, Magneto decided to ensure that normal homo-sapiens would no longer be able to pick on mutants, by planning to turn all normal homo-sapiens into mutants. We're not sure whether his biggest mistake was hinging his plan on the whiny chick from 'True Blood,' or whether it was underestimating the power of Hugh Jackman and his sideburns. Either way, we still give Magneto ten points for dreaming big.
There you have it -- all the necessary tools to take over the world in a spectacular fashion. Go buy yourself a swivel chair, a pinky ring and a skintight outfit, and you'll be utterly unstoppable. Just don't forget us when you're handing out beachfront properties along the San Andreas fault.
Who are some of your favorite supervillains? Did we miss any bad guy essentials? Share your Evil Plans below, and don't forget to check out Dreamworks' 'Megamind' when he takes over theaters on November 5.