How to dress up like 'The Human Centipede' characters for Halloween:

The Costume: A mad scientist's gory and gutsy centipede-like abomination, or the insane German surgeon himself, Dr. Heiter (Dieter Laser).

What You'll Need: At least two brave friends willing to get a little up close and personal. Bonus if they're two obnoxious party girls and/or a guy who speaks Japanese -- and can scream, grunt and cry like a baby on cue.

You must be willing to show a little skin for the gauzy diaper-bikini you'll be wearing. Good thing gauze is cheap at any local drug store, because you're going to needs lots of it to make sure no one can escape the inevitable face planting that will ensue. If you're worried that gauze will expose your vulnerable parts to the world, pick up a pair of these inexpensive American Apparel "high-rise briefs," along with a "ruched front tube bra" -- both in white.

Next, a little eyeliner for that gonzo-porn-meets-distressed-prom-queen look. Any cheap, black eyeliner from your local drug store works and will come in handy when creating the surgical incisions on your cheeks, jaw and mouth. Halloween Adventure (or any costume supply shop) has a selection of fake blood (a little goes a long way) for your face and knees. There's also some fleshy, latex goop if you want to make the scarring look more realistic. Latex allergies are welcome in this case -- the more rashy swelling, the better.

The trick in all this is deciding if you want to spend your Halloween party on your knees like a cheap date, or fake the funk by standing. Attach yourselves with gauze around the waist if you have a serious gag reflux. Those of you who are digestively adventurous can hit the floor and do a little tape/safety pin/gauze surgery -- wrapping it around the back of your head and connecting it to the booty in front of you. Knee pads are essential here and can be hidden by the gauze (Modell's or any local sporting good store). This is a good way to at least make your grand entrance to the party if you can't manage to stay in position the entire evening (if you can, call me ... ).

The Dr. Heiter costume should be a quick fix. Wear all black and get yourself some aviator sunglasses. Check your local thrift store, department store, Army-Navy store or medical supply company for a white lab coat or trench coat. While you're there, look for a pair of military-style boots (or any kind of tall boot). Pick up a riding crop for cheap online (horse and pet supply companies, or sex-toy shops), fake a German accent, slick your hair back and powder your face pasty white. You're a crazy scientist who doesn't spend much time in the sun and only goes out at night to pick up centi-bait.

Accessories: If you're the lone weirdo in your circle of friends who dared to don this costume for Halloween, we suggest dressing up a few stuffed dogs (Dr. Heiter owned rottweilers) with bloody gauze to carry around. Stitch them together snout to rear (dogs like that sort of thing anyway) with a needle and thread, or just use some dental floss to secure things. If you're really handy with a sewing machine, get some cheap white fabric and make a large-sized centipede toy of your own -- modeling it after the diagram drawing in the film. Dressing as the centipede or Doc works when carrying this prop.

Dr. Heiter costumes would also look great with the following: laser pointer, human centipede necklace and extra nihilism.

CATEGORIES Halloween