CATEGORIES Cinematical

The world is currently at the mercy of a hunger crisis, but that's okay because you can sleep comfortably at night thanks to the knowledge that scientists have turned to the silver screen for inspiration on how to solve said crisis. Researchers are on the verge of a revolutionary breakthrough in food technology that will allow for the creation of Willy Wonka's Three-Course-Dinner Gum. Oh, did you think we meant an actual hunger crisis? Sorry to have gotten your hopes up; scientists have yet to crack that nut, but maybe if someone gets them a copy of 'Soylent Green' it'll expedite things.

If you recall a few years ago scientists foretold how new advancements in nanotechnology would allow for the development of microscopic capsules that could deliver drug doses at different intervals over time. Well, now scientists have applied that same principle to making candy. Instead of using those time-delayed microcapsules to deliver life-saving medicine, it'll be used to deliver mind-blowing stages of flavor a la Wonka's magical gum. And no, this isn't a case of a scientist being vaguely inspired by something from a movie, either; Wonka's gum is precisely what they're trying to invent.



Professor Dave Hart of the Institute of Food Research explains this revolutionary necessity to the Telegraph:

"Wonka's fantasy concoction has been nothing but a dream for millions of kids across the world. But science and technology is changing the future of food, and these nanoparticles may hold the answer to creating a three course gourmet gum. Tiny nanostructures within the gum would contain each of the different flavours. These would be broken up and released upon contact with saliva or after a certain amount of chewing – providing a sequential taste explosion as you chew harder."

And while that's all fine and dandy, the Three-Course-Dinner Gum is hardly what scientists of the world should be striving for. If we're to use 'Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory' as a watershed for ideas, flavor-tiered gum is the lamest of his inventions. Before any more advancements are made, we really need to prioritize as a society and come up with the proper order in which Wonka's various inventions should be made realities. Clearly the ranking should be:

1. Fizzy Lifting Drink - Because not enough children are decapitated by industrial sized fans each year.
2. Chocolate Rivers - Because not enough children drown in torrents of chocolate each year.


3. Wonkavision - Because ever since Wayne Szalinski closed up shop not nearly enough shrunken children are befriending giant ants.
4. Oompa-Loompas - Because no one likes doing their own work.



5. Three-Course-Dinner Gum - Because no kid should ever be tricked into tasting green vegetables. Not cool, science.