As a child, did you ever fear that your toys came alive while you slept? Perhaps they were just playing or chilling out, having a beer, but what if they were up to something nefarious? What if they were romancing each other under your little sleepy nose? Gross.
But, what if, instead, you had lawn gnomes (and that's something else entirely we need to discuss, because 'Amelie' was adorable, but lawn gnomes? Seriously?) and they came alive when you weren't looking? What if they're next-door neighbors who hate each other, except two sassy young gnomes who fall in love, with only a fence and a feud keeping them apart?
Well, 'Gnomeo and Juliet' will answer all of your questions and more. In this upcoming Touchstone film, gnomes throw things at each other with catapults, drag race, fight in 'Matrix'-style slow-motion, and destroy things with lawnmowers. reported on 'Gnomeo and Juliet' back in 2008, noting that the project had been kicking around since at least 2006 with Kate Winslet and Greg Ellis attached.
Gnomeo and Juliet are voiced by James McAvoy and Emily Blunt, and a more ungenerous writer might wonder if they had house payments or something that would compel them to take on these roles. The other voice talent includes two knights (Michael Caine and Patrick Stewart), one Dame (Maggie Smith), one beefcake (Jason Statham) and one heavy metal god (Ozzy Osbourne). Elton John serves as executive producer and contributes music to the soundtrack. He also puts in a cameo as a gnome. At least it's not Randy Newman, am I right, kids?
This 3D flick will handily introduce youngsters to one of the greatest love stories ever told, although I seriously doubt it ends with a double suicide. They're obviously too young for the George Cukor classic or the gun-happy Luhrmann take, and if you show them 'West Side Story,' they'll become theater geeks, and you don't want that. (Just kidding, theater geeks. When you're a Jet, you're a Jet all the way!)
In the trailer below, you can get just a taste of what 'Gnomeo and Juliet' has to offer. Gnomes in skimpy bathing suits, Juliet in a homemade ninja suit, a froggy sidekick in lipstick, and a full-on gnome war.
'Gnomeo and Juliet' will be out this February, so you have plenty of time to clear your lawn of gnomes and other extraneous decorations.