Fortunately, 'The Hobbit' has now been condensed for you and me all 'Reader's Digest'-like, by the Brothers Grim and Grimy, who previously compacted Dante's 'Inferno' and 'Call of Cthulu' in a similar fashion.
It's a great primer for the in-the-works Peter Jackson film version of the book, giving you all the basics about the little dude who finds a magic ring, tries to pass himself off as a ninja from the future, fights giant spiders, and pisses off a dragon when he tries to steal a "totally pimp cup." And that's just the first half!
Really, I can't believe I never read this. It sounds awesome! The little dude abides. Watch the video after the jump.
(Spotted via io9.)