Oh, those raucous Satanists. Always demanding things like forced pregnancies to summon demon babies, and all that jazz. Now they want equality too? What's this world coming to? Don't they have a rep to keep?
I totally jest, but there is a group of Oklahoma Satanists who are enforcing their constitutional rights -- the freedom of assembly. They want a civic center in Oklahoma City -- home to local ballets, musicals, and weddings -- to be the venue for a "staged exorcism" the group is planning for October 21. The next sound you hear will be everyone in Oklahoma City peeing their pants.
The Church of the IV Majesties will be spreading the good word, rounding up members, and performing a little devilry after filing for corporation status. Satan loves you Oklahoma and according to a spokesperson for the church, "Satan will be coming out of hell with his giblets attached." At least I'm pretty sure that's what the guy in the video said. He's wearing a devil mask, which is hard to take seriously -- but at least the guy has a sense of humor. He also states that the church is at the civic center because Satan and the gang just want a place to meet and practice their beliefs peacefully.
What exactly is a "staged exorcism" you might ask? It's a parody of the Catholic church's age old ritual for expelling demons from afflicted individuals. Judging from the church's MySpace page, the Satanists are totally gonna throw down for this party: "We need an altar woman for the Satanic exorcism. This will occure [sic] around Halloween and will be recorded. No nudity is required." That's what they all say, and then you wake up to find yourself strapped to an altar, and the townspeople poking your vulnerable naked parts.
And don't get any bright ideas grandma -- the center can't kick the evil Satanists out of town because they're a government agency and they have to abide by the laws of the constitution. Check out the full story in the video below.