Hey everyone! Guess what? Joe Dante's werewolf classic The Howling is not on Blu-ray!

But fret not, horror fans. The folks with the deep pockets know exactly what you want. They know how to make it up to you. They know what will ease your furrowed brow.

Yep, you guessed it. The Howling III: The Marsupials, The Howling V: The Rebirth and The Howling VI: The Freaks are hitting Blu-ray on October 16 in a box set titled "The Howling Trilogy."

Let me repeat that: the "trilogy" of the forgotten third, fifth and sixth entries in a series that lost its luster by part two are bound for your Blu-ray player, ready to grace your television in miraculous 1080p. Ah, the kind of news that makes you believe in a loving God!

If you'll allow me to put snark aside for a paragraph of two, let's seriously think about this. Sure, The Howling may not have the same cache as the admittedly superior American Werewolf in London, but it's a fine film, one of the best films of the oddly limited werewolf subgenre. It's a dirty and slightly trashy, but it's also a ridiculous amount of fun, a great example of why Joe Dante deserves your love and adoration.

So, someone please explain why we're getting parts III, V, and VI in a box set in time for Halloween? My educated brain says "It must be some kind of rights issue and another company is pushing them out hoping to make a quick buck," but my irrational heart says "They're doing this because they're jerks! Big smelly jerks and they're keeping the first film from me out of spite!"

The one thing this set has going for it is that it doesn't contain the seventh film, The Howling: New Moon Rising, which has the odious distinction of being one of the worst films I've ever seen.

The inexplicably titled Howling Trilogy hits shelves on October 19th. Feel free to ignore it and wait for the first film.