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Depending on who you talk to, Fire Maidens of Outer Space (1956) is either one of the worst movies ever made, or one of the worst movies ever made that just happened to (somewhat but not really) predict a major astrological discovery (the film is set on "Jupiter's 13th moon," which wasn't actually discovered for another 2 decades).

The premise of the movie is that the civilization of Atlantis relocated to outer space when their first home began to sink. They manage to screw up their new home too, and it's up to a crew of astronauts to save the remaining Atlaneans (which, by this point, consists of a few mini-skirted women and one old man). And although that plot sounds interesting, the film is hampered by low production values and a general lack of talent on both sides of the camera.

My favorite description of the film comes from Fantastic Movie Musings and Ramblings, which has this to say:


Imagine you're sitting in a doctor's office. You've gone to the doctor to have him check out a rather dull but persistent pain in your back; it's not extremely painful, but it never allows you to relax enough so you can forget that it's there. You've been waiting thirty minutes for the doctor to see you. None of the magazines are interesting, and the TV is running footage of the Senate in session, but the sound is turned too low to hear anything. The nurse keeps entering, and you hope that she's about to call you in, but she never does. The only other person in the waiting room is preoccupied and doesn't want to talk. So you find that you only have your own thoughts to keep you company, and you can't think because the pain keeps distracting you. There's a newspaper which you've already read, but you turn to the crossword puzzle for something to do, but it's already been done. You check the clock on the wall; thirty seconds have passed since the last time you checked it. You can't sleep because you've just drank some coffee. All you can do is wait. If you can imagine what the above experience would be like, than you've been prepared to experience what watching FIRE MAIDENS FROM OUTER SPACE would be like.

Great stuff. Click through for the full poster.


CATEGORIES Features, Sci-Fi