While not a fan of the idea of having a Bodyguard remake with Rihanna and Channing Tatum, I could understand the choices -- a popular singer and a dude who likes dramatic romances. If you want to fill Whitney Houston's shoes, you need to be an established singer. But that rumor came and went, and just over a year later, Rihanna has found her first feature film role. It won't be crooning for muscled beefcakes, and it won't even be some sort of Dreamgirls production that has her belting out epic tunes.

Instead, she'll be sliding a peg into that vertical board and sinking our Battleship.

Variety reports that Rihanna will debut in Peter Berg's Battleship, starring alongside Taylor Kitsch and Alexander Skarsgard. As you may remember, the project "takes place across the seas, over the skies and land in a battle for planet survival against a superior force," because -- you know -- those pegs are actually little alien beings! Kitsch is a naval officer, Skarsgard is playing his brother, and there's no word yet on who Rihanna will play. Perhaps the brothers get in trouble and she pops up for a random musical number singing "Rude Boy."

As a performer with no television or movie acting credits under her belt (just stints as herself in projects like Bring It On: All or Nothing), this seems like a sketchy move, somewhat akin to Aaliyah starring in Queen of the Damned (though at least she already had Romeo Must Die under her belt). Then again, this is the production that took a simple board game and threw it in a blender with some aliens. Could this be anything but a mess? And if it's destined for the hallowed halls of mockery, why did Skarsgard sign on?