There's not one original idea in Salt, the new espionage thriller starring Angelina Jolie as a suspected Russian spy on the lam. It's a good thing then that the film is so fast-paced -- it barely gives you time to think about how we've seen this all before. Jolie has always been surprisingly adept at action, and Salt should satisfy those looking for a quick dose of turn-your-brain-off thrills.

But for those looking for originality? Well, Salt is just another butt-kicking female spy in a long line of butt-kicking female spies. We've managed to recover some confidential files from deep within something called "the internet" that reveals there are more secret operatives lurking in our midst than just Evelyn Salt.


7. Juno Skinner (played by Tia Carrere in the film True Lies)

SUBJECT ASSISTED IN THE SMUGGLING OF NUCLEAR WEAPONS INTO THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. SUBJECT HAS BEEN KNOWN TO TANGO. APPROACH WITH EXTREME CAUTION.



6. Charlie Baltimore (played by Geena Davis in the film The Long Kiss Goodnight)

FORMER COVERT CIA OP THWARTED BIO-WEAPON PLOT IN THE NIAGARA FALLS AREA. SUBJECT HAS BEEN KNOWN TO CHOP VEGETABLES WITH CHEF-LEVEL SKILL. SUBJECT KNOWN TO DRESS AS MRS. CLAUS. DO NOT ENGAGE CONTACT WITH SUBJECT'S DAUGHTER.


5. Xenia Onatopp (played by Famke Janssen in the film Goldeneye)

SUBJECT ASSISTED GOLDENEYE WITH THE RECOVERY OF A LARGE-SCALE EMP. SUBJECT RECEIVES INTENSE SEXUAL PLEASURE FROM VIOLENCE. DO NOT INITITATE SEXUAL CONDUCT WITH SUBJECT.


4. Natasha Fatale (played by Rene Russo in the film The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle. Also, portrayed by Sally Kellerman in the film Boris and Natasha. Voiced on television by June Foray.)

POTTSYLVANIAN DOUBLE-AGENT OBSESSED WITH THE DESTRUCTION OF AMERICAN ICONS "MOOSE" AND "SQUIRREL." OFTEN PARTNERED WITH BORIS BADINOV. SUBJECT EASILY DEFEATED WITH PUNS AND ACCIDENTAL CARTOON VIOLENCE.


3. Nikita (played by Anna Parrilaud in the film La Femme Nikita)

FORMER JUNKIE IS NOW A HIGHLY TRAINED SLEEPER AGENT FOR A PARISIAN SHADOW AGENCY. DO NOT APPROACH WITHOUT A WORKING KNOWLEDGE OF THE FRENCH LANGUAGE. SUBJECT MAY BE DISGUISED AS BRIDGET FONDA OR PETA WILSON.


2. Mata Hari (played by Greta Garbo in the film Mata Hari)

GERMAN OPERATIVE USES SEXUAL TACTICS TO GAIN SECRETS FROM HIGH-RANKING OFFICIALS. SUBJECT ARMED WITH HIGHLY DANGEROUS "BEDROOM EYES." DO NOT APPROACH SUBJECT WITHOUT CONDOMS.


1. Julia Child (played by Meryl Streep in the film Julie and Julia)

SUBJECT PARTICIPATED IN FDR'S OSS SPY NETWORK DURING WWII. SUBJECT ADEPT AT FRICASSE. BE ADVISED -- SUBJECT IS UNUSUALLY TALL. DO NOT APPROACH SUBJECT WITH MCDONALD'S TAKE-OUT.
CATEGORIES Action, Cinematical