Sparing no hyperbole, LR Health and Beauty CEO Tilo Ploger had this to say, "I personally feel that the new Bruce Willis fragrance is the manliest scent in the world." So, the cologne smells like pine trees, bourbon, and exhaust fumes? I wish! Instead, the new fragrance, also available as a body wash and deodorant, smells of pepper, grapefruit, and something called "vetiver", which I can only assume is the bottled smell of his sheets after a night with Alisha Klass (note: I have come to find out that vetiver is a type of grass grown in India).
Racked reports that the marketing slogan for the fragrance is "Smart Guys Live Forever." If Bruce Willis dies, we can all sue for false advertising! Unless, of course, Bruce Willis isn't a smart guy. However, if he is indeed an immortal, you can follow us right here on Cinematical for all the latest news on Die Hard CLXII (that's 162 -- I'm a smart guy).
I posted the question on Twitter and Facebook -- What does Bruce Willis smell like? You can read people's responses after the jump (and make sure to chime in with your own).
"I'd guess that Bruce Willis smells like Chuck Norris on a bad day." -- Mike S.
"I'd say Bruce Willis smells like Chuck Norris on a good day. Manliness plus cleanliness." -- Angela B.
"I think Bruce Willis would smell like bacon...just saying." -- @TXHelloKitty
"He smells like he just came in from mowing very expensive grass. Or very generic soap. Maybe Irish Spring." -- Toni S.
"Bruce Willis smells like burnt chest hair." -- Brian K.
"Bruce Willis smells like FREEDOM!" -- @_iheartzombies
"I would guess Bruce Willis smells like a combo of Old Spice, beef jerky, and sandpaper." -- @2020proof
"Axe body spray" -- Rebecca
"Brut, muscles, and rain." -- Britt H.
"Rogaine" -- Efren M.
"Seagrams Golden Wine Cooler!" -- Mick T.
"Epic manliness" -- Liz C.
"He smells like Kurt Russell, but less Stalloney." -- Fred H.
"Christmas!" -- Arnie B.