There has been much speculation about what exactly went wrong with 'Knight and Day'. The film that was supposed to be one of the summer's biggest blockbusters has performed dismally at best. It didn't even win its opening weekend, placing a sad third behind 'Toy Story 3' and 'Grown Ups'. 'Grown Ups'!

So what happened? Aren't Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz big enough box office draws these days? Sure, Tommy went crazy, married Joey from 'Dawson's Creek' and jumped on Oprah's couch. But didn't everyone forget about that after his zany turn as Les Grossman in 'Tropic Thunder'? As for Cammie D, she's still one of the world's most bankable actresses.
There has been much speculation about what exactly went wrong with 'Knight and Day'. The film that was supposed to be one of the summer's biggest blockbusters has performed dismally at best. It didn't even win its opening weekend, placing a sad third behind 'Toy Story 3' and 'Grown Ups'. 'Grown Ups'!

So what happened? Aren't Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz big enough box office draws these days? Sure, Tommy went crazy, married Joey from 'Dawson's Creek' and jumped on Oprah's couch. But didn't everyone forget about that after his zany turn as Les Grossman in 'Tropic Thunder'? As for Cammie D, she's still one of the world's most bankable actresses.

When people began blaming 'Knight and Day''s failure on Cruise, the studio quickly came to his defence, instead chalking up the poor performance to the movie's marketing campaign. The promotional blitz included posters conspicuously missing the faces of its two stars, who just happen to be two of the biggest stars in Hollywood. Isn't that what they're paid the big bucks for, after all? To have their faces plastered everywhere so the movie can piggyback on their popularity?

I decided to get to the bottom of this mystery, and went to see 'Knight and Day' to figure out what went wrong. Well, mystery solved. The movie sucks. And no, I'm not just saying that because it's a formulaic big budget Hollywood production. Trust me, I quite often like formulaic big budget Hollywood productions. When they're entertaining, that is. 'Knight and Day', despite its huge budget and parade of action sequences, is not. Yes, it's boring. So boring, in fact, that seven people walked out of the theatre.


While I'm not averse to flippant dismissals, this is not one of those times. No, this time I'm going to spell out exactly what's wrong with 'Knight and Day'. Well, the top ten things wrong with it, anyway. Because let's face it, I only have so much space here and you don't have all day.

1.
Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz are completely unbelievable as a romantic match.
2. The idea of Cruise continuously carrying Diaz (who must be half a foot taller than him) around like a five-pound ragdoll is completely ridiculous.
3. The whole movie is full of gaping plot holes the writers tried to gloss over using the premise of Diaz being drugged. We don't know how they get halfway around the world because we're seeing it from her hazy, drug-induced perception. Note to writers: Diaz's character is being drugged. Not the audience. Show us the details!
4. In spite of the fact that a significant chunk of the movie is comprised of action sequences, the film overall is a big snooze-fest. And the "tender" moments between Cruise and Diaz are just plain goofy. Like when he moves in for a kiss while 10 bad guys are shooting at them.
5. Cruise's character acts like some sort of immortal super-human who can kill 20 bad guys at a time without breaking a sweat. The writers could have at least worked in some sort of sci-fi explanation to quell our disbelief.
6. Diaz's character inexplicably gets cell phone reception on a remote island in the middle of nowhere. And we're just supposed to believe that might actually happen. Even though most of us can't even get a signal half an hour out of the city, there just happens to be a cell tower somewhere near Cruise's island of solitude.
7. Despite all of the already hard-to-believe location changes, all of the characters magically have new clothes everywhere they go. Including the isolated island. Are we supposed to assume that Cruise just happened to have a super dorky turtleneck/ blazer ensemble tucked into the back of his swimming trunks?
8. They never explain the title. Yes, it is eventually revealed there is a Knight. But what about Day? What gives? Who's Day?
9. All of the halfway decent scenes are in the previews.
10. The spy genre is already saturated. In order to hold its own in the category, this movie had to be good. Really good. Like 'Bourne Identity' good. And this is mediocre at best. And even that's being generous.

Have you seen the film? What did you think?