If the previews have you fondly remembering your younger days and reconsidering that high school reunion invitation, let us interject. Sandler and crew make it all look like fun and games, but there are serious things to consider. Dozens of reunion films through the years have taught us these important lessons to know before on attending any class reunion. 'Saturday Night Live' friends Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, David Spade and Rob Schneider reunite on June 25 in 'Grown Ups,' a film about ... reuniting with friends (specifically, from junior high). They let Kevin James be in on it, too, since someone has to play the fat kid.
If the previews have you fondly remembering your younger days and reconsidering that high school reunion invitation, let us interject. Sandler and crew make it all look like fun and games, but there are serious things to consider. Dozens of reunion films through the years have taught us these important lessons to know before on attending any class reunion.
The nerds shall inherit the Earth. As we saw in 'Romy and Michele's High School Reunion,' those who were mighty will have fallen, and the geeks will take their place. Former hunk Billy Christiansen (Vincent Ventresca) is now an alcoholic, miserably overweight and working for his father-in-law's construction company. Sandy Frink (Alan Cumming), the school geek, turns out to be incredibly wealthy and gorgeous (with the help of cosmetic surgery). Don't wait like Romy and Michele. Contact former nerds and ride to the reunion with them in their helicopter.
There is no statute of limitations on murderous revenge. 'National Lampoon's Class Reunion' taught us that some people never let bygones be bygones. During Lizzie Borden High's class of '72 10-year reunion, Walter Baylor begins murdering fellow alumni. Turns out being the butt of a sadistic senior-year prank drove him insane, and he escaped from a mental institution just to be there. Do your research before heading back and make sure people you picked on aren't clinically insane.
Don't faint, or you'll time-travel. Peggy Sue (Kathleen Turner) in 'Peggy Sue Got Married' isn't excited by her reunion because she has just divorced her high school sweetheart, Charlie Bodell (Nicolas Cage). But she goes anyway, and ends up being crowned queen. This causes her to faint and time-travel back to high school. She tries to change her future, but upon returning to the present, she's right back with her no-good husband again. But at least she got to hear Nicolas Cage sing.
Love the one you're with. 'Zack and Miri Make a Porno' proves the Stephen Stills song better than his lyrics. Zack (Seth Rogen) and Miri (Elizabeth Banks) go to their reunion trying to hook up with past classmates. They're rejected -- but believe their former classmates will buy a film of them having sex. Or course, they realize during the filming that they where in love the entire time. Save yourself some time and just start dating your roommate now.
You can win back the one that got away. Professional assassin Martin Q. Blank (John Cusack) ditched his high school girlfriend Debi Newberry (Minnie Driver) on prom night. He disappeared to join the army and become a killer. Ten years later, he returns in 'Grosse Point Blank' to his hometown and to Debi, who is obviously not happy with him for leaving without an explanation. However, he's able to win her back by killing a team of mercenaries, NSA agents and Grocer (Dan Aykroyd), all of whom are trying to kill her father. The lesson? She's out there waiting for you -- just be prepared to bring some firepower.
No one ever really changes. In 'Beautiful Girls,' struggling pianist Willie Conway (Timothy Hutton) returns to his small hometown for a high school reunion, hoping the trip gives him some insight on why his life feels flat. Although his old buddies are older, they haven't matured. They're making the same mistakes they always did, as are their wives and girlfriends. After being rejected by sexy Andera (Uma Thurman) and flirting creepily with 13-year-old Marty (Natalie Portman), Willie accepts his path and his girlfriend -- and loves both.