Stay gold, Johnny boy!

That's all Ralph Macchio ever wanted -- to continue along his career path happily, spending his free time cuddling his wife and being kind to strangers. He never had a need for the child star's usual fall into badness. (Nevermind that he was in his twenties when he played both Johnny and Daniel and became a huge star.) No monitoring devices, sex tapes, or drug binges plagued his days.

...at least, not until the intervention, when his loved ones sat him down and tried to drill it into his head that nice guys finish last. They chastised him for being faithful, and nice, and Hollywood poison. To get ahead, they said, he had to finally become the bad boy, even if he is pushing 50 and it seems too late.

Yes, the Funny or Die folks are back with a faux trailer outlining Macchio's struggle to be a bad boy ... to be the bad ass that unleashes his fury on the paparazzi, who makes sex tapes and picks up hookers for elicit shenanigans. The video is, well, awesome, and a hell of a lot more entertaining than a remake that sells karate but offers up kung-fu (sometimes branding goes way too far). I'm not sure what I like most about it -- how much it makes me wish for Macchio to have a My Cousin Vinny-type return to the big screen, Molly Ringwald's discussion of Ralph's desire to join the Brat Pack, or the audacity to show part of one Hollywood actor's elicit sex tape.

Watch Ralph struggle to become a bad boy below and tell me: Isn't it time he made a comeback?

Warning: NSFW, foul language