For as long as I can recall, the world has been clamoring for a sequel to Paul Verhoeven's 1995 lap-dancing epic, Showgirls. It's been fifteen long years, but filmmaker Marc Vorlander is ready to make our dreams a reality with his newest project, Showgirls: Exposed, and we've got the four minute promo clip to prove it. Hopefully you have some eye rinse handy, because you're gonna need it after watching this thing.

Trying to catalogue all of the Boll-esque hilarity contained in this trailer would be impossible. Do you talk about the wonky title cards? What exactly is a "photoplay" and who thought "Disturbing. Provoking. Completely Shaved." was a good tagline? Do you focus on the cheesy song that plays over the whole thing or the hilariously awful CGI gunshot to the head effect? The options are endless.

My favorite moment is easily the shot of a meteor streaking across the sky over what appears to be a graveyard in broad daylight. It was the one moment in the trailer that gave me hope -- that hope being that Vorlander was somehow going to work the zombie apocalypse into his story of strippers. Alas, it doesn't seem like that's what happens at all -- it was a good idea, though. Maybe he can use it in Showgirls 3: Zombie Strippers.

After the jump, see if you can withstand all four minutes of Marc Vorlander's endurance test ...

We don't learn much about Showgirls: Exposed's story from the preview, but you have to wonder if it even matters. For a teaser filled with naked women dancing and grinding on each other, it may be the most un-erotic thing I've ever seen -- and yet, I feel almost compelled to seek out the full version when it releases sometime "soon." Well played, Marc Vorlander, well played.

Check out the hilariously NSFW trailer below and share your favorite moments in the comments section below.



[trailer via Twitch]