The oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico is a devastating blow to our precious natural resources. It's only fitting, then, that aid should come in the form of another one of our precious natural resources: celebrities.

First there was Kevin Costner's water-purification pump, which basically sucks up polluted water, uses centrifugal force to separate the clean from the dirty, and sends back 97 percent clean water. The actor, no stranger to things that suck, first started looking into such a device after the Exxon Valdez spill in 1989, and has spent millions of dollars of his own money to research it. British Petroleum, the company behind the current oilpocalypse, began testing six of Costner's devices two weeks ago. They'd need thousands of them to clean this much water, though, so we can't put all our eggs in Costner's basket (if you know what I mean).

Now another Oscar-winning director has joined the battle. It's James Cameron! You'd think the king of the world would have been consulted sooner. According to the Canadian newspaper The Globe and Mail, Cameron was planning to meet with deep-ocean experts today to pitch ideas. He was to be joined by Phil Nuytten, described by the paper as an "underwater innovator," who built the submersibles Cameron used in his film The Abyss.

The paper calls Cameron and Nuytten "the two swashbuckling Canadians," which would be an excellent title for a terrible pirate movie.

It wasn't known before the meeting what Cameron's specific ideas were, but a few things are certain. His ideas will be BRILLIANT, they will cost HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF DOLLARS, and they will HAVE A STRONG FEMALE PROTAGONIST.

We kid James Cameron and his giant ego, but the guy actually knows a thing or two about the ocean. There's The Abyss and Titanic, of course (and don't forget his first feature, Piranha II!), which led to his increased interest in ocean technology. Inspired by his new passion, he directed the documentaries Ghost of the Abyss, Expedition: Bismarck (about the sunken ship), and Aliens of the Deep, produced Volcanoes of the Deep Sea, and participated in Tony Robinson's Titanic Adventure. He's more than just a hobbyist.

What's more, he has the ambition -- not to mention the money -- to pursue whatever tickles his fancy. Goodness knows the people at BP haven't been able to come up with any solid ideas yet, so we might as well open the floor to rich people who make documentaries about the ocean in their spare time.

Where's Aquaman when you need him?
CATEGORIES Movies, Cinematical