Bad Biology, Directed by Frank Henenlotter, 2008

No, Frankenhooker and Basket Case director Frank Henenlotter hasn't traded the camera for a stint as an underground MC, but he did co-write 2008's Bad Biology with one -- R.A. Thorburn, otherwise known as R.A. the Rugged Man. I know, it's hard to believe that he's not trading the camera for the mic with as many "bitches and hos" that appear in the film, but chalk this little flick up as another weird one for the man who loves to put the xxx in horror-exploitation.

For a film about a guy with a ravenous 15inch schlong (which actually crawls around and gets rapey with the local T&A) and a woman with seven clitorises (who smashes her lovers' heads in and then takes pics as a memento), the film was kind of boring but the oddball, juvenile, sleazy humor made it perfect viewing for a late-night, barely there viewing. And I'm always a sucker for films about freaks trying to find love (and orgasms).

Love Object, Directed by Robert Parigi, 2003

I think we all know someone as quiet and insecure as Desmond Harrington's Kenneth, the mild-mannered technical writer, in Love Object. That's part of what makes the film so interesting -- we can relate to the characters because they're so believable -- and Parigi's surreal, dark twist makes the exploits of his lonely lead all the more unsettling.

When Kenneth discovers a website that sells realistic sex dolls, he maxes out his credit card in order to purchase his very own, which he names Nikki. While pressures mount at work (Kenneth's boss is played by none other than Rip Torn), Kenneth is secretly playing dolly while home alone (though his neighbor Udo Kier suspects what he's up to). Things get more complicated when an attractive temp named Lisa is assigned to his project at work, throwing the soft-spoken office worker for a complete loop. As he starts to fall for Lisa, he subtly influences her to change her look in true Hitchcockian fashion -- until she resembles Nikki. Soon, reality and fantasy become so intertwined that Kenneth starts to lose his grip on the waking world and Nikki becomes something more than just a doll.

Fans of May will like the film for its similar tone and humor and while the ending felt glaringly different from the rest of the movie, I still found a lot of things to love in this strange tale.

Train, Directed by Gideon Raff, 2008

I lost interest in Train when I realized it was basically Hostel, but set on a train. The film lacks Eli Roth's interesting subtext, so between that and being distracted by the shape of Thora Birch's head, I gave up and decided to paint my toes and chat on the phone. I did look up now and then for some gory parts, which there seems to have been plenty of. I think there was some nudiness too. Overall, you get what you expect and nothing more. I'm not on board with Train, but i was bored out of my mind.