Before Mr. T (aka Lawrence Tureaud) began extolling the virtues of playing a "Night Elf Mohawk" in Blizzard's wildly popular World of Warcraft, the bejeweled actor had a much loftier goal, railing against the evils of wearing designer clothes. After all, as The A-Team's BA Baracus tells us in the clip's opening moments, "Would Calvin Klein, Bill Blass or Gloria Vanderbilt wear clothes with your name on it? Of course not." I bet they would if your name was something like Versace, but maybe that's missing the point. Clubber Lang's wise advice? "Table the label and wear your own name."
The clip's uncomfortable opening is a mere taste of the horrors to come. Mr. T. steps aside so we can all bear witness to what may very well be the worst fashion show ever recorded on a VHS camera. Imagine the spokesmodel competition from each week's Star Search, only with Mr. T. providing the insightful commentary and not Ed McMahon, and you have an inkling of what you're in for. You really haven't lived until you've heard Mr. T. say, "And here's Marta, our subway sweetheart taking the A-train to fashion in this graffiti-inspired creation," while watching a young girl dancing to 80's muzak cheese. Things get even more surreal when he concludes that Marta's "a real hot dog."
Boasting slow motion shots, freeze frame photos that make Glamor Shots look like the work of Helmut Newton, awful dance moves and lots of loud neon backdrops, this whole thing reeks of the 1980s. Add in countless shots of Mr. T. slinking around the edge of the action like a creepy uncle and the awkward meter literally explodes. I hope this same fate doesn't befall Quinton "Rampage" Jackson after he takes on Mr. T's role in the new A-Team movie.
Check out the video after the jump.