We usually run one or two "official" reviews of new films here at Cinematical, but since we have so many ravenous movie freaks on staff, I thought we should figure out a way to utilize that asset. To that end, we'll be posting an "Open Forum" post every Saturday night, which will allow you to enjoy a wide array of Cinematical opinions for that weekend's films -- plus we want you to participate as well. That's pretty much what Open Forum means...
So we'll try this experiment out with the films of the last weekend in April. Don't say you weren't warned.
A Nightmare on Elm St.
"I want to be completely fair, so I'm going to pretend that I wasn't alive in 1984 and that I didn't see a certain influential horror movie that clawed its way into my brain and still plagues my subconscious. The new version motors through its paces at a good clip and is an eminently likable, yet disposable genre picture. I can't help wishing, though, that it was more ambitious and daring: my brain has room for more nightmares." -- Peter Martin
"I am loath to start tossing around insults, but A Nightmare on Elm Street 2010 casts serious doubt on the adage, often trotted out by critics when they are feeling charitable or contrite, that no one sets out to make a bad movie. Astoundingly useless and boring, the remake is -- forgive me -- a goddamn nightmare." -- Eugene Novikov
"So generic, so lazy, and so forgettable they may as well have "we're not even trying" plastered across the bottom of the screen." -- Scott Weinberg
"For horror fans, the lack of major innovations may be a complete deal breaker, but, at the same time, Haley's Krueger is a legitimately terrifying torturer. Whereas the original was (intentionally) vague on outlining Krueger's crimes, this one has no problem doing so. The result is an absolutely joyless embodiment of evil. I think the problem for most people, is very few want this angry of a return for Freddy." -- Peter Hall
"I'm not sure I quite understand the anticipation that surrounds Platinum Dunes horror remakes. I'd have thought by now they'd fairly adequately demonstrated a desire for no more than a healthy profit margin. Art has never really come into it. Are Jackie Earle Haley's geek credits really so strong that his presence promised anything more? He's not the worst thing about this shockingly tedious piece of cinema - a movie so bad the 1984 original is Citizen Kane by comparison - but he's certainly not far off. I'm actually angry at myself for wasting a perfectly good evening." -- Joe Utichi
"The most impressive thing about Furry Vengeance, which is grindingly unfunny throughout its painful, sluggish 92 minutes, is that so many genuinely funny people signed on to be a part of it." -- Dawn Taylor
The Human Centipede
"If you didn't know the premise, the atrocious acting in the first 10 minutes alone would find you reaching for the remote. Beyond the bad acting, however, Tom Six doesn't actually commit 100% to how absolutely insane his idea is. Too tame to be the button pusher it sets out to be." -- Peter Hall
"Some will see a base and disgusting concept that has little to no artistic value whatsoever. Others will applaud a horror import that actually has the confidence and audacity to deliver something disturbingly different. Guess which group I'm in?" -- Scott Weinberg
"A gross, weird, messed up movie; it's up to you to take that as a compliment or a criticism, but all I can say is that for better or for worse, almost any tale told after surviving a screening of this film will fail to do its depravity adequate justice." -- Todd Gilchrist
So now we open it up to you! Have you seen any of these films? How about Please Give or Harry Brown? Share your thoughts below! We'll be back next week with a low-budget independent film called Iron Man 2.