CATEGORIES Fandom, Cinematical
The Double Down (KFC)You might call it a nightmare scenario. I've been having strange food-related dreams since a certain fast-food chain announced its newest menu item: a chicken "sandwich" with no bread, claimed to be "so meaty, there's no room for a bun." (The lead restaurant critic of The New York Times, however, declared it to be "a slimy and unnaturally moist thing, with flavor ginned up in a lab. It is, in all, a disgusting meal.") Reportedly, the chain is desperate to drive up sales, and that's why my mind drifted to movies. Big Hollywood studios are always desperate to drive up profit -- witness the 3-D phenomenon and the corresponding hike in ticket prices -- so why don't more movies ditch the bread, as it were, by eliminating plots and characters entirely?

Mind you, I'm not advocating such a thing, but I wonder why no one has followed up on Jackass and produced a string of movies filled with silly, outrageous stunts. Instead, Jackass 3-D has the field to itself, which should guarantee a decent box office return just for the sake of novelty and a good giggle. Interestingly, Jackie Chan once said that he would dream up three great stunt/action sequences, and then hand his notes over to a screenwriter to figure out how to connect the dots.

On a related note, where are the modern-day equivalents of That's Entertainment! (clips from musicals) and Terror in the Aisles (clips from horror flicks)? All on DVD? Could it be that we've hit on the singular sub-genre that Hollywood studio executives are too afraid to replicate, for some unknown reason? Don't be alarmed: these are just idle thoughts, and I'm sure we won't see a sudden profusion of movies with no bread, as it were.