Welcome to a new feature here at Horror Squad you can expect to find every Wednesday and Friday. It's called I Would Have Saved/Killed and it goes like this: one of our writers will pick a character, big or small, from a movie and explain how they, for whatever reason, would have altered the fate of that character.

Don't worry, we will never spoil anything pre-jump, though obviously everything after the break is operating under the assumption you've seen the film to the right, so be warned. And a big tip of our hat to Arbogast on Film for inspiring us with his post The One You Might Have Saved.

Name: Hollis

Fate: Dead

Cause of Death/Method of Escape: Brain trauma caused by nailgun. One of the final victims of insane, homicidal miner Harry Warden.

Verdict: I Would Have Saved Him

Reason: Hollis was one of the most honest characters in all of slasherdom. He was a terribly nice guy who was so devoid of combative personality that he was often the one breaking up fights. He was the epitome of a decent blue-collar worker; a coal miner who took great joy in ending each day covered from head to toe in soot. As a drinking buddy, Hollis was second to none and if you needed further proof of his inescapably likable personality, take a gander at his disproportionately attractive girlfriend. You don't look like him and get a girl like that unless you are a certifiably awesome guy.

Not to mention the fact that guy is a mumblety-peg champion. If you are unfamiliar with this old sailor's game, recall that awesome scene in Aliens wherein Bishop gets a little knife-happy with Hudson. Bishop takes the blade and, in a feat often imitated by your drunkest of uncles, begins to rapidly thrust it downward between the fingers of Hudson's splayed hand. In a fantastic scene from My Bloody Valentine, Hollis turns this boastful foolishness into a competition wherein he and another bar patron stare at one another and see how fast they can go and who can remain unjabbed the longest. How can you kill a man that has proven himself the zen master of this ridiculous contest?

His death prompted an incredibly rare sense of loss not often felt while watching a slasher film. Normally we can't wait for the next bloody dispatch of one of the various boobs stupid enough to investigate that old house or venture into the cursed woods. But Hollis' mistake was merely going to his place of work after hours to throw a party. Granted, partying in a remote location is tantamount to signing ones own death warrant in a slasher film. But Hollis' profound amiability serves as a significant mitigating factor.
CATEGORIES Features, Horror