What: A bunch of boring kids get slowly killed in boring fashion and nobody on the screen seems to give a crap. (It's amazing how quickly the slasher flicks got this lame.) Every ten minutes there's some plot contortion about a high school track team and a gymnastic demonstration and zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....
When: May of 1981, which means it went head-to-head with Friday the 13th Part 2. Brave.
Where: In and around Los Angeles -- on sets that look like they were used for porno flicks. Recently.
Why: Because all the holiday titles were getting snatched up, and "graduation day" clearly implies that teenagers are somehow involved (and likely to die). Oh, and because some filmmaker was bound to kill a teenager with a football impaled by a sword eventually, and Herb Freed wanted it to be him.
The Good: That's a tough one. I suppose you need low-rent slashers like this one to illustrate why Friday the 13th Part 2, for example, is actually a half-decent slasher flick.
The Bad: Take your pick: the gymnastics sequences, the lengthy and merciless mumblings that pass for dialogue, the cheap-looking and hilariously unconvincing kill scenes, the painful attempts at comic relief, the clothes worn by the horny music teacher ... the list is endless.
The Ugly: I do believe I mentioned that the flick looks, sounds, and feels like a sex-free porno flick. And the music. That's pretty ugly too. Actually worse than skin-flick music, if you can believe it.
The Verdict: Skip it, avoid it, strike it from your memory. Unless it's your lifelong goal to aurally collect every syllable ever shrieked by Christopher George, there's nothing here worth sitting through. Oh wait, that's right: Linnea Quigley's bare boobs.
The '80s Archive is a project I came up with that will hopefully combine my affection for 1980s horror films with my love for bullet points, random trivia, and alleged wit. If there's a flick you'd like to see covered, find me on my Twitter page.