In 'Hot Tub Time Machine,' three friends in their 40s -- Adam (John Cusack), Nick (Craig Robinson), and Lou (Rob Corddry) -- as well as Jacob (Clark Duke), the son of Adam's sister Kelly (Collette Wolfe), find themselves lonely and going nowhere in life. After Lou's suicide attempt, they go on a getaway to a ski resort they used to frequent as teenagers. After a night of drunken shenanigans in the hotel's hot tub, they wake up in 1986 and have to relive a weekend from their youth. Little do they know that every decision they make that weekend could change their entire future.

We watched the movie and found some of the funniest quotes for you. Here are the best 'Hot Tub Time Machine' quotes: In 'Hot Tub Time Machine,' three friends in their 40s -- Adam (John Cusack), Nick (Craig Robinson), and Lou (Rob Corddry) -- as well as Jacob (Clark Duke), the son of Adam's sister Kelly (Collette Wolfe), find themselves lonely and going nowhere in life. After Lou's suicide attempt, they go on a getaway to a ski resort they used to frequent as teenagers. After a night of drunken shenanigans in the hotel's hot tub, they wake up in 1986 and have to relive a weekend from their youth. Little do they know that every decision they make that weekend could change their entire future.

We watched the movie and found some of the funniest quotes for you. Here are the best 'Hot Tub Time Machine' quotes:

Adam: "If you don't like it, you can move back in with your mom."
Jacob: "No, I can't. Actually, she moved in her new boyfriend. I will not be anywhere near that."
Adam: "She moved in with him?"
Jacob: "Yeah, the taxidermist. The taxidermist is stuffing my mother."

Dr. Jeff (Geoff Gustafson) [asking Adam and Nick about Lou]: "You are his friends, right?"
[Awkward silence]
Nick: "It's like that friend who's an asshole, but he's our asshole."

Lou: "I didn't f***in' try and kill myself! If I wanted to kill myself, I'd f***in' kill myself. I'd be awesome at it. Shotgun to the dick."

Jacob: "For your information, I've had a lot of girlfriends. Hot ones."
Lou: "You have had lots of boyfriends. Gay ones."

Jacob [scoping out the ski resort]: " I'm gonna make a prediction right now: One of us is gonna start writing a novel, and then we all get snowed in, and then Lou's gonna axe-murder all of us."

Lou [on phone to an escort service]: "I want an escort to escort our penises into her vagina."

Massive Cell Phone Guy (Jamie Switch) [passing the main characters, as they begin to suspect they're in the '80s]: "You're never gonna believe where I'm callin' you from, man. I'm on a mountain, on my phone!"

Adam [after a knock on the door]: "That's probably Ashton Kolchak right now, tellin' us we've been 'punk'd' or whatever."

[The main characters look at the hot tub.]
Jacob: "Do I really gotta be the asshole who says we got in this thing and went back in time?"
Nick: "It must be some kinda... hot tub time machine." [Looks directly into the camera]

[The main characters look in the mirror, where they appear as their younger selves.]
Adam [commenting on young Nick's haircut]: "You look like Kid 'n Play."
Nick: "That's actually two people."

Jacob: "Guys! This is scientifically possible."
Lou: "Oh, my god. Okay, Professor Hawking, tell me in your robot voice how this is scientifically possible."

Jacob: "All right, I write Stargate fan fiction, so I think I'm know what I'm talkin' about right now."

Lou: "I seriously almost passed out, you're such a dork."

Jacob [discussing "the butterfly effect"]: "... like, you step on a bug, and the f***in' Internet's never invented."
Lou: "Oh, then you have to talk to girls with your mouth."

Lou: "Hey, man, can I ask you a question? Does this seem like it's all about Adam again?"
Nick: "Yeah--just like Cincinnati."
Adam: "You're gonna bring that up?"
Lou: "We said we weren't gonna talk about Cincinnati ever, okay?"
Jacob: "Is this why you have that shoebox in your closet that says 'Cincinnati'?"
Adam: "Yeah."
Lou: "What?! That's f***in' admissible!"
Nick: "You keep it in the closet?!"
Adam: "What am I gonna f***in' do with it? You can't bury those things."
Nick: "You wrote 'Cincinnati' on it?!"
Adam: "How do I know which one it's supposed to be?!"
Jacob: " ... Is it a fetus?"

Jacob: "Holy shit-- you're wasted!"
Adam: "I've had, like, two wine kills, Captain Buzzcooler."

Nick [to Lou, regarding an oral sex bet]: "I don't like you takin' liberties with my dick."

Lou [shouting from a rooftop to the '80s teenagers below]: "Hey, John Lennon gets shot!...
[To himself:] Wait, did that happen yet?"

Lou: "Who took my f***in' shoe?!"
Jacob: "Blaine apparently beat your shoe off of you, which -- I don't even know how that could f***in' happen."

Kelly [to Lou]: "I love how much you hate you."

[Nick has just called his future wife on the phone in 1986 and screamed at her about an affair she will have in 2010.]
Adam: "Were you just yellin' at your nine-year-old wife?"
Nick: "...Yes."

Jacob: "Nobody f***s my mother in the past!"
Kelly: "I feel pregnant."
Lou: "You're welcome."

Lou: "I love you, Jacob!"
Jacob: "F*** you!"
Lou: "Little scamp. They say the damnedest things, man."

Lou: "Here's a question: Was it morally wrong for me to exploit my knowledge of the future for personal financial gain? Perhaps. Here's another question: Do I give a f***?"
CATEGORIES Movie Quotes