I had no idea that Transformers 3 was almost set to commence filming. I know that studios are picking release dates first and having scripts written second these days, but it's been less than a year since Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen violently assaulted the senses of audiences worldwide and robbed them of over $800 million. It doesn't scream "Quality!" when you've cobbled together a script and rushed through pre-production in about 9 months. But hey, this is a Transformers movie.

Director Michael Bay has released information about the production on his official website, including the news that a Ferrari 458 Italia has joined the cast as a new Autobot character. Bay doesn't give any details, but we can safely assume it will be a horrible ethnic stereotype who makes poop jokes while breaking bad guys in indecipherable fight scenes.

Less importantly, a few human flesh bags have signed on, too. No one important, really. Certainly no one more important than a super-sexy Italian sports car who will transform into a robot with the aid of computer technology. Just Academy Award winner Frances McDormand, Academy Award nominee John Malkovich and the very funny Ken Jeong. Bay doesn't go into details, but we can safely assume that a robot will pee on at least one of them. If we're lucky, maybe all of them.

In all seriousness, Bay has a knack for dragging quality actors into his movies, building ensembles that better directors would dream of having. He must be dangling a big paycheck because I doubt McDormand read the Transformers 3 script and decided "I must be a part of this!"

Transformers 3 will shoot in LA, Chicago, Washington DC, Florida, Texas, Africa, Moscow, and China. It will destroy each and every one of them, so get out while you still can.
CATEGORIES Movies, Sci-Fi