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Diary of a Wimpy KidIn 'Diary of a Wimpy Kid,' based on the bestselling book by Jeff Kinney, Greg Heffley (Zachary Gordon) suffers through his first year of middle school. He knows he'll be rich and famous someday. For now, all he wants is to make it into the yearbook as a Class Favorite. But his older brother Rodrick (Devon Bostick), his "not middle-school-ready" best friend Rowley (Robert Capron), and his own self-centered choices keep knocking him down the popularity ladder. Eventually, even Rowley realizes that Greg isn't a very good friend. Can Greg learn to be a braver and more selfless person? Can he even survive middle school?

Here is our collection of the best quotes from 'Diary of a Wimpy Kid':

[Rodrick jumps out and shoves Greg's face into his armpit]
Rodrick:
"Three days. No shower. Smell the love!" Diary of a Wimpy kidIn 'Diary of a Wimpy Kid,' based on the bestselling book by Jeff Kinney, Greg Heffley (Zachary Gordon) suffers through his first year of middle school. He knows he'll be rich and famous someday. For now, all he wants is to make it into the yearbook as a Class Favorite. But his older brother Rodrick (Devon Bostick), his "not middle-school-ready" best friend Rowley (Robert Capron), and his own self-centered choices keep knocking him down the popularity ladder. Eventually, even Rowley realizes that Greg isn't a very good friend. Can Greg learn to be a braver and more selfless person? Can he even survive middle school?

Here is our collection of the best quotes from 'Diary of a Wimpy Kid':

[Rodrick jumps out and shoves Greg's face into his armpit]
Rodrick:
"Three days. No shower. Smell the love!"

Rodrick [to Greg]: "So, look: Mom asked me to give you some advice about middle school. It's real simple: don't talk to anyone, don't look at anyone, don't go anywhere, don't sit down, don't raise your hand, don't go to the bathroom, don't get noticed, don't choose the wrong locker, don't... Ahhh, who am I kidding? You'll be dead or homeschooled by the end of the year anyway."

[Greg reaches down to pick up a moldy piece of cheese on the ground]

Chirag Gupta (Karan Brar): "Stop! Good God, man! You almost got the cheesetouch!"
Greg: "The what?"
Chirag: "The cheesetouch. Nobody knows when, or how, but one day, that cheese mysteriously appeared on the blacktop. Nobody knew who it belonged to. Nobody touched it. Nobody threw it away. And so there it sat, growing more foul and powerful by the day..."

Rowley [asking about the school bathroom stalls]: "No doors?"
Greg:
"None. I'm not poopin' until I'm in high school."

Greg [voiceover]:
"Right now, I have to take abuse from these morons. But in twenty years, Quentin here will be workin' for me."
Grown-up Quentin (Peter New) [in voice of young Quentin (Cainan Wiebe)]: "Greg, please don't fire me. I really need my measly, pathetic job scooping your dog's poop."

Rowley: "My mom told me to just be myself, and people would like me."
Greg: "That would be good advice, if you were somebody else."

Headline of the school newspaper:
"CHEERLEADER GAINS POUND"

[Rowley is wearing the same shirt and tie as Greg]
Rowley: "Ta-da!"
Greg: "I told you I was wearing this."
Rowley: "I know. I wanted to be matchers."

Greg [voiceover]: "The problem with Rowley is that he's not enough like me. I can't ditch him, 'cause he'd be lost without me. But maybe I can fix him. Because that's the kind of friend I am."

[Rowley shows up at Greg's door with lights and flags all over his Halloween costume]
Greg: "You're kidding me, right?"
Rowley: "Mom wanted me to be visible at night."
Greg: "From space?"

[Rodrick walks in dressed for a gig with his rock group, Loded Diper. He's wearing eyeliner.]
Rowley:
"Wow. You're lucky. My mom doesn't let me play with makeup anymore."

Rowley [reading the dialogue of the cartoon he's drawn]: "Oops! I stepped in a puddle! At least it's not an acid puddle... Oyoyoy! It is an acid puddle!' 'Zoowee mama!"

Fregley (Grayson Russell): "I can't believe it-- Greg Heffley's in my room! [Talks to a stuffed, mounted rodent in the corner of the room:] Greg Heffley's in my room, Rebecca!"

Note from Fregley: "Dear Gregory, I'm very sorry I chased you with a booger on my finger. Here-- I put it on this paper so you can get me back."

Mrs. Norton (Belita Moreno): "All right, well, Greg, your voice is too high for any of the other male roles. Perhaps you could be a tree."

Susan Hefley (Rachael Harris): "How do you feel about having owned this type of magazine?"
Rodrick [pauses to think of the answer she wants to hear]: "... Ashamed."
[One of his bandmates says "Nice!"]
Susan: "Do you have anything you want to say to women for having owned this offensive magazine?"
Rodrick: "I'm sorry, women."
[His bandmates applaud]

Patty Ferrell (Laine MacNeill) [when Rowley and Greg are about to fight]: "Kick his butt, Rowley! It's easy!"

Angie Steadman (Chloe Grace Moretz): "One day middle school will end and become high school. And after that, it just becomes life. And all those things you think are important now won't be anymore."