You're not going to find a bigger fan of 'Alvin and the Chipmunks' anywhere else. That's what happens when you've been raised on 'Christmas Don't Be Late' since childhood.

Some people may waste their time arguing over who is the best Beatle, but if you ask me, the more important musical question is: 'Who is the best Chipmunk?' And we know -- without a shadow of a doubt -- that the answer is Simon. The blue sweater-wearing, bespectacled Chipmunk isn't just the tallest of the group, he's also the smartest. With brains and musical talent always on display, its pretty clear that the talking rodent possesses many skills. So many skills in fact, that we think it's time for him to break out and go solo. You're not going to find a bigger fan of 'Alvin and the Chipmunks' anywhere else. That's what happens when you've been raised on 'Christmas Don't Be Late' since childhood.

Some people may waste their time arguing over who is the best Beatle, but if you ask me, the more important musical question is: 'Who is the best Chipmunk?' And we know -- without a shadow of a doubt -- that the answer is Simon. The blue sweater-wearing, bespectacled Chipmunk isn't just the tallest of the group, he's also the smartest. With brains and musical talent always on display, its pretty clear that the talking rodent possesses many skills. So many skills in fact, that we think it's time for him to break out and go solo.

Face it: the group is holding him back. There are bigger and better things Simon could be doing with his time. Leave the Chipmunks to play county fairs in front of tiny audiences. Simon can become the biggest superstar in the world -- in any field he wants.

We came across these photos recently, and they prove our point.


The search for a new 'American Idol' judge is over. His well-reasoned intellect and superb singing ability make him the perfect replacement for that nasty British guy. Best of all, they won't even need to change the name on the parking spot. (Get it, Simon in place of Simon?)


Baseball is a thinking man's game. And more importantly, he could bring some much needed respect back to a now-tarnished sport. He's too smart to take any performance-enhancing substances. (Get it, Simon in place of Manny? OK. Doesn't work here.)