CATEGORIES Hot Topic
The Cutting EdgeThis past weekend, I gave up my Sunday -- and the pleasure of watching Kentucky win the SEC tournament and LeBron James dismantle the Celtics -- to watch eight consecutive hours of 'The Cutting Edge.'

Yes, you read that correctly. ABC Family aired all three 'Cutting Edge' films prior to the premiere of its latest made-for-TV movie, 'The Cutting Edge: Fire & Ice.'

I know, I know. You're jealous. But I did it all for you. I promise.

To prepare for this feat of pop-culture stamina, I downed two mimosas at brunch, and almost ordered a third. Then I settled back into my pajama shorts and a Disney T-shirt for the duration of Sunday. The Cutting EdgeThis past weekend, I gave up my Sunday -- and the pleasure of watching Kentucky win the SEC tournament and LeBron James dismantle the Celtics -- to watch eight consecutive hours of 'The Cutting Edge.'

Yes, you read that correctly. ABC Family aired all three 'Cutting Edge' films prior to the premiere of its latest made-for-TV movie, 'The Cutting Edge: Fire & Ice.'

I know, I know. You're jealous. But I did it all for you. I promise.

To prepare for this feat of pop-culture stamina, I downed two mimosas at brunch, and almost ordered a third. Then I settled back into my pajama shorts and a Disney T-shirt for the duration of Sunday.

Soon, the fun began. Hopefully, you've all seen the original starring D.B. Sweeney as Doug Dorsey and Moira Kelly as Kate Moseley, which my Time Warner Cable guide describes as "Love/hate figure skaters try for the Olympics."

The description does not capture the essence of the movie. Regardless, the film that brought us "toe pick" and "The Pamchenko" is still as good as I remembered it. I relived their individual Olympic failures, which led to their "unlikely partnership." (I put that in quotes because I'm sure I've heard that before.) You see, he's a hockey player, she's a pairs figure skater. Yet, they end up winning gold in pairs skating at the 1992 Albertville games and falling in love.

(Full disclosure: I actually hadn't watched it in about eight years. And for some reason, I thought Pamchenko -- their coach -- died and they decided to attempt the tricky move in his honor. Spoiler alert, this is not the case.)

At one point, my father came online and asked me what I was doing. Our conversation was as follows:

Dad: What are you doing?
Me: I'm an hour and 45 minutes into eight hours of 'The Cutting Edge.'
Dad: Why?
Me: It's for work.
Dad: Good. I once watched 36 hours of NCAA basketball for a column. First round of the tourney -- I started hallucinating after a while.


It's nice that he's supportive of my job.

Feeling strong after movie #1, I was ready for 'The Cutting Edge: Going for the Gold.' This centers around Dorsey and Moseley's daughter Jackie, played by Christy Carlson Romano, who sports some terrible hair during her first appearance on screen. Jackie hurts herself in the first moments of the movie -- I gave myself bonus points for spotting Oksana Baiul at this point -- and needs to switch to pairs because it's easier. (Is this true? I have no idea.)


Jackie then meets inline-skater Alex Harrison (Ross Thomas), who will obviously become her partner, because, duh, that's how these things happen.

Meanwhile, in talking to my co-worker, we realized that the young Dorsey doesn't understand the rules of romantic-comedy-dramas. If the boy you love to hate, but really secretly harbor deep feelings for, is taking a shower, stay away. He's in there with someone else. We guarantee it.

We were both unable to take the fake Kate Moseley and fake Doug Dorsey seriously. Kelly and Sweeney chose not to reprise their roles and left it to some people I'm not even going to name, as it's not worth it.

My roommate also wandered in and out of my room from time to time. She offered her own insights.

Roommate: Christy Carlson Romano's boobs are too big for her to be an ice skater.


As I'm not an expert on the subject, I simply laughed.

Anyway, you can figure out what happens next. Jackie and the skater boy compete, eventually win gold in Torino and fall in love. (Torino, you say? How do the Dorseys have a daughter old enough to compete in Torino? Well, I'll get to that.)

All is well. Mostly.

I hit a few road blocks during the third movie, 'The Cutting Edge 3: Chasing the Dream.' Not only did I have to pop open my first, and unfortunately only, bottle of wine, but my cable went out. Awesome.



So while Zach Conroy (Matt Lanter) and Alex Delgado (Francia Raisa) struggled with their feelings for each other as well as their pairing on the ice, I watched in my roommate's room and waited on the phone with the cable company for half an hour. I missed the dénouement, but I'm pretty sure they won gold and began a romance. (Which would quickly end -- see 'Fire & Ice.')

It's important to note that in this one, he's the figure skater and she's the hockey player. I love it when they throw that twist at you.

Finally, the fourth began. (On another note, I had the pleasure of interviewing its stars, Brendan Fehr and Raisa about their roles. They were all kinds of cute, so I don't want to make fun.)



'Fire & Ice' follows Fehr's "bad boy of speed skating" James McKinsey and Raisa's Alex, fresh off her gold medal in some competition as they pair up to win, yep, gold in the 2010 World Championships.

Don't worry, they fall in love in this one, too. What would a 'Cutting Edge' movie be without a little romance?

Over the course of my ice skating vision quest, I learned several things.

1. The best time to declare your love is right before you skate your final program.
Seriously, this happens in like every one of these.

2. Time doesn't really matter.
Dorsey and Moseley win gold in 1992. Then, their 21-year-old daughter wins gold in the 2006 Olympic games. Right. According to Wikipedia, the director just glossed over that fact and would later tell people that she retroactively changed the timeline. In 'The Cutting Edge 3: Chasing the Dream,' Jackie Dorsey tells Zach and Alex that it's been five years since Torino. But in 'Fire & Ice,' Alex competes in 2010.

But continuity, schmontinuity.

3. If you're an athlete in any sport that involves skating, picking up pairs figure skating is a breeze.
Doug Dorsey and Alex Delgado played hockey. Alex Harrison was an inline skater and James McKinsey a short-track speed skater. And yet, they all go on to excel in figure skating. Who knew it was that easy?

4. Don't worry if you finished third and needed to place in the top two. Something will happen so that you'll be competing anyway.
Whether it be lederhosen, steroids, or boring old ankle fractures, you can bet on making it due to another pair's misfortune.

5. Kissing someone on the cheek looks like you're kissing them on the mouth from another angle.
This actually becomes a conflict in two of the films.

6. Nobody wants to buy deodorant from a guy in sequins.
Just thought you would like to know.

Other things of note: I counted 12 total toe picks, Fehr looks incredibly hot in his underwear and all Russians are evil. (At least in figure skating. And hey, Evgeni Plushenko does nothing to discredit this fact.)

When it all ended, I was sad and relieved. Although I'd have no more exercise montages or "looking at your partner in a new light" scenes, I could watch something else. You can bet, however, I'll be tuning in again when 'The Cutting Edge 5: On Frozen Pond' premieres.