Syfy will be premiering their original movie, Dinoshark, on Saturday, March 13 9/8C -- check out the trailer after the jump. The world can always use more B shark flicks, especially ones that involve the promise of dinosaurs as the title indicates. In honor of this momentous event, I give you my Raging Sharks review.
Raging Sharks' title would indicate that this is a film about killer sharks, but sharks are only the subplot in this disastrous but fun film where aliens and a rescue mission are at the heart of the story. That is, if you can call it a story because I still don't think I know what the film was really about after watching it. If you're a fan of B level shark flicks then you know this doesn't matter.
The movie isn't quite sure what it wants to be, so there are a whole lot of cooks in the kitchen. And continuing in the tradition of shark movies, there are a lot of other movies being referenced: Jaws (duh), The Thing, Aliens, Leviathan, The Abyss and the list goes on and on. You would think a film that uses few (I think I counted one?) CGI sharks would be better than most, but it's not. The film is hastily edited with stock footage inter-cut with the actors looking pensive, blank, or running for their lives on a beach screaming.
[After the jump, feel more rage ... ]
But wait, there's a plot right? Corin Nemec, who looks like a yoga instructor and seems totally high is sporting some crazy hair (he even left an awkward fringe around his neck for us to admire) and works on an underwater observational lab known as the Oshona. His wife, Vanessa Angel (who has a serious hack job of a trout pout, which helps maintain the "theme" of the movie), works with him. The exploding alien stuff in the beginning tells us that something crashed down from space, landed near the lab and has attracted a bunch of sharks who get all ragey from the mysterious substance. I couldn't tell you about the rest of the story, but it involves a brooding Corbin Bernsen, a supporting cast that reads like a bad joke (an Italian, an Aussie and a Russian all walk into a submarine ... ), sharks that sound like lions and tigers, and some of the worst lines in shark movie history ("Listen you knucklehead -- there are people down there fighting for their lives. You go down when i say you go down!").
If you like your sharks raging and also require the worst elements of every sci-fi, action and drama movie you've ever watched then you definitely don't want to miss Raging Sharks. Worst case (or perhaps best) scenario is you use the movie as a sleep aid, but there are several hilariously bad moments that B shark fanatics will enjoy.